Sunday, March 15, 2015

The Conflict Within

Today I would like to talk about the conflict within. Everyone who is LGBT will know exactly what I'm talking of. The conflict that threatens our happiness, well being, and even life. It is the shadow that stalks our lives if we allow it.

Being who we are we face so much pressure to be who we are not. Family, friends, work, church... all try to tell us who we are and how to be. It is an assault on the spirit, a war if you will.  Pressures from outside attempting to shape us to their desire.

This struggle is one of the greatest we all face. It is never easy and not everyone deals with it, or deals with it very well. When we are young we have not found our self. So we either break free or we wait. When we have become adults new pressures can delay things even longer. As we get older we add the shackles of all the life we have lived before.

Most of us do not like conflict. We only want to be free. And that is the struggle. When ever it comes to the issue of us, we are its master. Regardless of anything outside we choose our path. Sometimes that means we walk in sunshine and others stormy skies with brambles slicing our legs along the way.

There is no one clear answer to the conflict within but we can ask ourselves questions to help us decide where we go and what we do.

Can I live my life bowing to the desires of others even though it will cause me heartache and pain?

Am I being selfish wanting to be me or are others being so by not accepting who I am?

What do I hope for if I change?

What will I do if I change?

And most importantly will I love me as I am with whatever choice I make?

There may be many more things to ask but these are fairly important. It is important to know who you are and what you want. From there you have to decide what makes me happy and will my choices make me happy. If we don't do this and just languish in the howling wind of indecision we begin to rot.

Our soul does not like stagnation it takes us to dark places. And for wondrous beings who deserve to shine the darkness is not our friend. So I leave you with one final question.

What do you want? Forget the outside when answering this because you must know you before contending with anything or anyone else. Whatever your path or choice it must be entirely you. You can not be a whole person otherwise. And when you have decided love! Love yourself, your life, and those around you regardless of what the outside says or thinks.

Love is Never Wrong

1 comment:

  1. My answer is simple in reply but impossible in execution. I want to be a man, to be seen as male, and to live as one. But to do so would mean giving up my darling husband and at least 2 of my children. They are all the family I have, my birth family ditched me years ago when I refused to toe the family line that my mother isn't crazy.