Sunday, December 16, 2012


One of the greatest acts that can benefit a person in life is unity. The simple effort to stand by someone, give them dignity, respect, remove fear, even allow life. But many fear to do so. They fear being labeled negatively for it.

Unity should not be about fear but about what is right. It's not an easy task all the time but it is a correct one. For we should lift each other up in life. We are each other have.

When I was in high school  I remember a certain class party our teacher was giving us. It had been a successful time and we were celerating. As I sat talking to others and sipping on my drink I continued to notice from the back of the room a group of young men being loud, laughing and pointing at another classmate.

This concerned me. The young man was being oh so quiet and sullen. Finally he shuffled forward to the table with refreshments I think more to escape his tormentors than to get a drink. That is when I approached him. First grabbing a cookie and just being friendly. I tired to put him at ease.

Finally I asked him why they were giving him a hard time. He said "Because I'm gay." At the time I was far from dealing with my own battles of identity but still I knew what was right. So I put my arm around his shoulder and told him "It's ok I'll talk to you."  As he looked down trying to process someone accepting him I gazed up staring at the others in the back disapprovingly. It was their time to go quiet, look away in shame and consider their actions.

Unity is usually a simple act of dignity, respect, compassion, maybe even life. It is an act of what is right.

Unity = Human + Human

Maybe if we follow that equation we will see it's not gay rights. It's Human rights.

Regardless of the differences in beliefs, life choices, or identity we are all Human. In that we should all be treated Humanely.  Stand! Stand with a fellow Human and give them life, love, freedom, respect, and dignity that we all deserve.

For our legacy as Humans is marked in how we treat each other. Nothing else is added to the equation.

I guess the question is will you add to Humanity or subtract?

Love is Never Wrong

Sunday, August 12, 2012

I've Only Just Begun

I've never been an advocate of violence but the symbolism of our struggle in this piece is quite powerful and telling on many levels. So to the many oppressed in recent days your not alone and your struggles is just.

Love is Never Wrong

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

A Life of Love, A Life of Pain

In our quest of love in all its wondrous forms we tend to hide the pain. For many of us we live in pain. We hide ourselves, conceal who we are, and what we feel. We spare the others in our lives the very woes that trouble us because we don't want to pass on the pain.  So many of us live in pain when we should live with it.

Pain for all the misery and heartache it brings, is not a bad thing. Only those that create pain can be termed bad. The pain we have in our lives from the smallest to the insurmountable is really the same. It is a struggle to hold on to us and not be swept away in the hurt that afflicts us so.

When we are told we are disgusting or unnatural we may brush it off and move on. We may bury it deep inside and allow it to fester eating at our very soul. Neither is healthy. We must acknowledge the trauma it has caused and change it to love. We must affirm ourselves and ensure the pain stops with us.

When when our flesh bleeds and our bones ache the physical will heal, but our mind fears repercussion. We stray away from that which hurt us. We hide, if just a bit more. We allow the strife raging across our black and blue bodies to quiet us. Physical pain can go far beyond the obvious. We must confront it and strengthen our lives to be who we are in spite of it. We must love those who cause it.

When we are oppressed by law, society, or even religion we try to conform to a mold that is not us. We try to lose ourselves in a form that only inflicts grievous torture. We suppress our very identity to please those that rarely fit their own mold. In fact though we should be who we are and embrace our distinction. No one else is like us and can be no one else, without pain.

Love and pain often go hand in hand. It is through our pain we learn to be compassionate to others. We learn sympathy, patience, even humility. The key to life with pain is to acknowledge it and bring into your life. Take all that hurt and change it to love. It won't be an easy thing to do and you may very well have days when the pain has the upper hand. Still our search for love must begin within. We must take all that pain change it.

Allow for the pain in your life. But also allow for it to be love. Take those unkind words and tell someone their beautiful, you love them, or even you appreciate them. When our bones heal and wounds fade, tend to the injured. Share your love and make their journey a little less hard. When people oppress you confront it, change it. Break down the lies and hate one person at a time, if you must. The path of love is not an easy one but it is a good one.

Love and pain are not one in the same but we can choose to take one and make it better. Love has to start somewhere so why not in you?


Love is Never Wrong

Friday, March 2, 2012

Breaking Free

I had planned another post for today but after seeing this video I wanted to share it. We all struggle and some don't get the recognition they deserve. So here are some of the stories from India. We all succeed when we lift each other up.

Love is Never Wrong

Thursday, March 1, 2012

What We Lose in Silence

Today I would like to offer an insightful video from

Love is Never Wrong

Friday, February 24, 2012

A Voice in the Heartland

I don't normally write much of my own struggles because so many have a much worse lot in life and we all need help at some point. My efforts here have been to try and help anyone who needs it where ever they may be. However, events here at home have me concerned at the blatant contempt and hate being expressed.

In an open letter Bil Browning of the Bilerico Project summed up many of the frustrations and pains many of us in my state feel and grow up with. I'll let you read his words before continuing.

Growing up in Indiana is a good life and its traditions and heritage as valuable as any. However, it is a different life if you are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgendered.  You learn to hide who you are, deflect questions, and feel a guilt laid upon you by an ignorant society.

Don't get me wrong we have some bastions of relative safety but in all honesty if you were to to say or do the wrong thing in the wrong place your very life could be at stake. It can be a pleasant society where all seems serene and tranquil, where nothing goes wrong but beneath its surface is a bitter brew that will unleash vile things.

In my own life I have seen much hatred and bigotry. I could list each event as if they were yesterday. I have seen a preacher destroy personal property because a person was perceived to be gay. I've seen a young man so isolated in a classroom that his tormentors taunt him with no reprisal from the teacher. I've seen the ones with bruises, scars, and blackened eyes so carefully diverted to the ground to hide, if not in shame, in pain.

In my life I have never committed a crime, I don't live in excess, I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I am not sexually promiscuous. I've never raised my fist in anger at anyone. I was a boy scout and went to church and still have my faith. My whole life I have helped others, done civic duties and volunteered. I am and have been a good citizen.

I know the call of "Is anybody out there to help?" I know the pain! You know what else I know?

I know they amend a Constitution because it was written to not discriminate against any group. I know when you seek to deny any person or group equal protections under the law you seek to do them harm. I know when you cloak yourself in words of not hating and then follow them up with words that seek to diminish me you deceive yourself as well as others. I know when you harass or berate a person simply for existing you seek to raise yourself above examination. I know when you present yourself as the savior of children you will hurt and bring about the deaths of many yourself. I know when you wrap yourself in the word of God you rarely practice it. I know...

I am a citizen. I am equal.

When the day comes and those that have committed hate realize they do not protect themselves or their beliefs but instead hurt the very people in their communities and lives I will forgive you because our lives should be about love more than hate. When those axes ground to their handle are lain down I will weep tears of joy to wash away the pools of blood.

To those who may never learn this lesson I will feel sorry for you because your life was consumed by hate and fear. You missed a life of love and surety of ones self.  My heart will lay heavy that the fire of hate consumed you.

Whether it be this state, this nation, or this world we struggle so hard. Over and over we have to relearn the universal truths. People are people, love is love, and all life is sacred. If you can not know this in your heart, realize its love that creates lasting change in the world, then maybe you should consider the actions you take in life because every one of us is Human and those words, actions, and choices affects another person.

All the words and motivations voiced are false illusions. The purity of truth is how will you treat the person before you?

Will your legacy be love or hate? It's that simple.

Love is Never Wrong

Monday, February 20, 2012

The Power of Compassion, The Power of Change

Recently there has been a study put forth that links those who discriminate with a low IQ, or lesser intelligence. I find this to be a morbid pill offered as an answer to peoples views. IQ tests are neat and scientific studies that work within the confines, or parameters, set by the observer. They do not measure passion, emotion, or even tradition. They do not measure Humanity.

Although people may generally score lower on such tests and hold the views in question, it is not a measure of themselves. One can not fault a person who has not learned as much others or even been motivated the same. We can not judge those who have their whole lives been told something is wrong. They are Human as much as we are.

In our lives we can work to make change. We can educate people and show them the trueness of love and Humanity. Only when we work tirelessly to undo the the fear, misinformation, and hate can we seek an answer. In the business of all things Human we should extend dignity and respect. We should reserve judgment to our very souls.

Never dismiss those of differing views, emotions, or even traditions. Every thread of Humanity is a different color, texture, or material. Some may be worn or coarse but it does not dismiss them as part of our fabric. They should not be judged by their presentation, else we judge ourselves in the process.

I do know regardless of a persons raw intelligence or learning to date they are Human. They carry within them all the things taught to them, shared with them, and all the love or lack there of given them. It is very difficult to understand or accept intolerance, pain, or hate but the burden of change us upon us not them.

People change when they see, know, or learn, a better or proper way. They gain respect when shown it and allowed to express who they are or have been told they are. Whether or not it is right is relative. What is important is the extension of compassion, love, and respect. When you appeal to Humanity wonderful things can flourish. Change can come quickly. But the work must be done by us.

It is not easy for people to let go of a life's lessons and teachings. It is not easy to unlearn fear or hate. Only love and compassion can bring forth change. Judge not a person by the narrow confines of their knowledge or teachings. Judge them by their Humanity. Only when you do such can you truly evaluate a persons ability to change.

By all means fight for justice, equality, and love. Just do so with Humanity or our fight is naught but a ruse of superiority over a different view, which is the fire that consumes that which you object to.

I trust in Humanity, not intelligence. What do you trust in?

Love is Never Wrong

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

In Love, We Trust

It is the waning hours of Valentines day and I wanted to talk about love and trust. Two wonderful expressions that go hand in hand.

When we love we extend many layers of trust to others. We trust that we will be treated fairly, our interests will be observed, even we will be defended. Whether you love a friend, parent, or spouse it is the same. A bond of trust that lays the foundation for anything more.

This trust is a sacred acknowledgment from person to person. It is the sign of a open heart and generous soul. Love can not exist without trust. To remove it would denigrate the feeling to obsession, lust, or even something much darker.

Trust is not easy and we may be hurt by it but it is lifting and certainly liberating. Trust can work wonders in life. Have you ever known someone who raised your suspicions and you knowingly extended trust and love? They may surprise you. When you extend such grace in life you lift people up and give them a dignity they may not have otherwise. You show them a path of light. You raise them up in honor.

Love is a splendid garden with countless paths that take us to wondrous views and happiness. Each path is paved with stones of trust. They may grow old and crack, become covered in moss and dirt, or even become whitewashed from the sun but it is the path we should acknowledge as much as the garden for without it the wonders before us would never have been known.

Many people pay excellent lip service to Love and trust but the truth is in the stone. For in love, we trust.

Love is Never Wrong

Thursday, February 9, 2012

LGBT Terminology

So many people new to the LGBT scene come across terms they have never heard or don't know what they mean so today I would like to offer some simple resources that offer definitions. Bear in mind some of these will not be kind or tasteful to some so read them with that warning.

Aaron's Dictionary of Gay Terms

Gay Words and Slang from

Love is Never Wrong

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Love & Pain

Today I want to talk about love and pain. We lose so many to struggles forced upon us. We wage wars inside our soul just to realize we are. We are valuable, loved, and intended. Such a rough journey for such a simple destination. Love and pain should not be the same.

When we can not be who we are, have our existence questioned or threatened, or even be denied the right to speak we fight a silent battle questioning our very lives. Our path becomes a struggle to answer questions of hate and ignorance, a road of validation. But the truth is we are valid.

Our life, our love, our very existence is not anyone's to question. We are here and have always been here. We are as natural as any other. We love as deeply and as passionately as any other and it is pure. As for our life anyone who proposes harming you or forcibly changing you to fit their view are the ones in question. Life is sacred. When you question it for whatever reason you commit a grisly deed, denying another Human.

I know many of us go through times when we question what seems like everything about us and our place in this world. Maybe our life is full of taunts and violence, we struggle to identify our gender and sexuality, or even desperately hoping to find someone like ourselves. Our hearts grow so heavy they hurt and our eyes weep the pain of unkindness.

But I say this, close those eyes and imagine that special someone you want to dance with, that perfect kiss, the dream job, even that proud walk where no one cares who you love. Imagine knowing peace and love can and does go hand in hand. Dream of your children smiling and laughing because you showed them love and the soul so many do not know.

Feel that smile tug at your heart as you envision that moment, that love. Take that love and make it. The world is the expression of our dreams. The power of creation is in us all. We are blessed with the power of love. It can shape the unformable and define our waking day. Know that love you envision and share it with the world.

I know the lies and pain in our hearts can make us believe we are about to break and we are stuck in a nightmare but it is not so. We simply need to realize we can't give up because life is about love. First, we must muster our own before anything can change.

When you find your love nurture it and let it grow. Wear it proudly. I'm not talking about gender or orientation but you. You are much more than any single definition or expression. Know in confidence that you are. You are love, life, and certainly exist. Deny any of that and the dream is naught but a nightmare.

Life require diligent work and it it won't always be easy but it is so worthwhile and precious. A moment of love can turn the tide of pain and change the world. A smile, a look or surety, even a cry of pain to a fellow soul are badges of honor in a life of love. We are not invincible but our love is.

Unleash that glorious wind in your soul and let it change the world. Allow all that pain to wash away in a glorious display. A vision of love. Show us your beauty in all its wondrous imperfections and let loose that smile that turns into a laugh, because love and pain are not the same.

Love is Never Wrong

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Dance With Me

For some time now I have been watching the events in Russia and have become rather concerned for the LGBT community there. New laws being passed suppress the very existence or voice of our community. It is a crude and old method to attempt to control a group by removing their right to even debate in public. They may not be able to speak without repercussion but I can.

To deny a voice, a life, to your own citizen, a son, daughter, mother, or father is to deny yourself. The hate you spew forth invades your community like  a nest of bitter vipers. You teach hate and intolerance. You set in motion the formations of sanctioned groups who will undermine your society as they seek to carry your limitations further. You create a system where they will judge you and the power slowly slips to them. Be careful the virulence you unleash it may consume you and millions more.

Here is a video produced by Side By Side an international LGBT film festival in St. Petersburg.

Side By Side's main site. It is available in Russian and English.

Coming Out is a LGBT equality site in St. Petersburg. It is available in English and Russian.

All Out is an international equality site that took up a petition against the laws. Maybe a new petition is needed Check them out and their original petition drive. It can be a bit slow to load be patient.

You know this reminds me of our own LGBT history here in the US. A time when same sex couples could not dance together in public without fear of arrest so gays and lesbians paired together when needed to conceal their innocent desire to just express their joy.  They danced as they would until a watchful eye came around and then they concealed their love.

So to my Russian readers I say take a lesson from us. You may not be able to speak or hold a sign or banner without persecution but you can dance. And if you think about it being visible in a completely normal and innocent expression is just as moving and informing as any. Show them love and that it is natural.

Dance with me!

Love is Never Wrong

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Of Fish and Birds

Recently my friend Biki posted in blog "A fish may love a bird, but where will they live?" It is an interesting presentation so for all of us I will try to answer it.

The duality we all have in life whether we are any of the letters in LGBT is one of conflict. More often than not it is an internal one. It is our struggle to fit in a society that is ill prepared for us. Because of this ill preparation we are usually in the midst of defining our lives by standards and terms that really do not apply to us. We struggle.

What we need to discover is the power of love and creation. We must love who we are and who we want to be. We must love the journey that takes us wherever we will go. In that journey we should realize its success or failure is our creation. Like any traveller we can choose to flock to the masses or find our own path and enjoy the adventure on our terms.

Life has many obstacles, pit stops, even questions. Some may take our whole lives to figure out but that's fine. We are all works in progress, ever learning and changing. We are our choices and experiences. We are expression. Maybe that is the answer.

If there is no definition, space, or even feeling or thought about something express a new one. It does not have to be universal because our lives are our own.

So to answer my dear friend Biki I say this:

They live by the river, the lake, the sea. The bird soars proudly looking down upon its love always in sight. The fish gazes upward in joy. Diving forth the bird plunges through the watery surface for the brief foray to love's world. Bursting forth back to the air the fish surges up nudging the bird, a tantalizing embrace. It is not  a perfect love but who said love is perfect?

The boundaries in our lives are usually set by us and as long as we follow someone else's definition we will never embrace our love fully. Fish or bird, it's expression is our own and as long as we are happy with it then it is a perfect love. 

Love and create it's expression

Love is Never Wrong

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Righteous Indignation

I have heard so much condemnation in the name of God lately that I truly pray those rendering such hate never suffer such judgement themselves. Pride, judgement, divine usurption, even murder are horrible paths for anyone taking a stand to posses. When you do so that hill you stand upon looking down from is not rock or soil but bone. flesh, and blood.

The Human soul, free will, and precious life is no ones domain other than creator and created. I know sometimes we get caught up in passion and views but we have to remember righteous indignation is reserved to the victim not the perpetrator.

In my efforts here I share a lot about love. Sometimes it takes those with the greatest obstacles in life to see the world clearly. So I will yield any further comments to one who overcame great obstacles and forever blazed a path for others.

"It is wonderful how much time good people spend fighting the devil. If they would only expend the same amount of energy loving their fellow men, the devil would die in his own tracks of ennui."

- Helen Keller

Love is Never Wrong

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Chris Salvatore

I first found Chris when viewing his original
It Get's Better video, now replaced by a
much better version. Chris is one of those
artists that sing from the heart. I always
find that to be extra special, especially from
a gay musician. All those pure emotions
of love, passion, and pain come from
someone like you and you know the song
connects with you.

Chris is also an actor having appeared in several of the Eating Out series. Toss in a little modeling and touring and he is an all around entertainer.

Hopefully he will touch you as he did me.
Connecting with someone is after all the
success of a good entertainer. So here is
the link to Chris's sites.

Here are a few of Chris's performances I like.

Love is Never Wrong

Saturday, January 7, 2012

It's Movie Night: Take IV

Today I wanted to offer some lighter links. It's been a while since our last movie night. So today I have some short films for my Lesbian readers. I hope you enjoy them.

Ask Again Later is a short about love, destiny, and overcoming obstacles.

Transit is short film about chance meeting.

Double Axe is a different film. The acting is not the best but it does have a humorous ending.

Captivated is a brief look at connections.

A New Flavor is a journey of discovery.

For Her Love is a story many know.

Love is Never Wrong

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Our Chronicle So far

Continuing on my last post I would like to offer everyone some links to our history. This is only a fraction of what has been lost or hidden but it is a start. Find out who we are and what we have done. Like anyone we belong and have contributed. Maybe we can add volumes to our great chronicle. It only takes one to begin the pen's journey of revelation.

The Schwules Museum is located in Berlin and covers and exhibits many items and topics of gay life and history. The site is in German. (Germany)

Centrum Schwule Geschichte is a library and archive located in Cologne. The site is mainly in German with some English information.(Germany)

The GLBT Historical Society & Museum is located In San Francisco.

The Tucson LGBTQ History Museum is a timeline style site with many links.

Southern California LGBT History. The site seems to still be under construction. However a timeline and some simple references are available.

Untold London is a site with many links to information about Gay art, history, and society. (UK)

Plymouth LGBT Archive (UK)

The LGBT Religious Archives Network stores and collects history of LGBT religious movements around the world. Explore the deep faith many of us have.

For an overview of LGBT history you could read the wikipedia on the topic. It is more a analytical review than a personal study.

History and life stories are out there. These are but  a few. Find your heritage and contribute yours. Societies, Museums, Libraries, even archives exist and some may be very close to you. Take the time and learn.

Love is Never Wrong

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

A Chronicle of Life

Recently I read a news article talking about the British scientist and mathematician Alan Turing being honored on a postage stamp. I knew of Alan's story before but this article reminded me all to well of a great problem we have in the LGBT community. The story of our lives is scattered, censored, even destroyed.

As a community it's important to know who we are, where we came from, and even the contributions we make to greater society. It's part of the reason so many of us struggle with ourselves. We usually have few references. A lot of times what we do find leaves us wanting and unsatisfied because it does not relate to us.

We are all a part of history and always have been. Many LGBT people have made this world a better place and fought to ensure a brighter future. We need to learn and know that however. We need to understand as much as our lives have been denied we are here and we are valuable.

So what am I saying? Record your life, your experience, even your passion. You are the voice of tomorrow. Someone needs to know they are not alone, progress has been made, and someone out there is like them. I know many of you are saying I am not a great writer or my story is not so important. You are wrong however.

We are all important and contribute to what shapes our lives and our future. Maybe you are a gay Christian, Muslim, or Jew and can show faith is not limited to sexuality. Maybe you are in a same sex marriage raising a family and can show we are not the enemies of family. Maybe you can shed the truth on all the abuse rendered to us, a witness or a victim. Our testament of our lives is a tantamount priority many of us don't realize.

Write a blog, make a video, collect LGBT stories, campaign for LGBT history inclusion in libraries, and fight for our existence. Many of us know the hollowness of having to define ourselves without reference. Let us make ourselves known. The voices of tomorrow are those built upon voices of today. For without reference we must repeat our long struggle every generation.

You are a chronicle of life! Express it however you can. In the words of George Washington Carver "When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world."

We are all unique and uncommon. The attention of the world awaits your voice, your life. Be a Chronicle!

Love is Never Wrong