Thursday, March 31, 2016

Soical Media or a Vulture Picking at Old Wounds?

This is my second post today as I didn't want it to wait. It is a very harsh reality in modern society. It is bitter and cruel at the same time. I hope and pray none of you have to experience it.

Love is Never Wrong!

When we Confuse Greed and Truth

I had a very interesting situation yesterday. While with family I was asked a question of why I could not do something so I answered honestly with I didn't have the money. I gave a bit of detail and the first reaction I got was "Well I don't have any."

This struck me twofold. One I was not asking for anything, merely explaining and secondly how insulting. This also struck me as a bigger trend in society as a whole. We hear a problem and we instantly excuse ourselves even when we are not being asked to help.

Don't get me wrong if you have no resources to help a situation fine. However to instantly remove yourself from reality when confronted with it is a harmful trait. Never recoil from truth. Take a break if you must but confront it.

Plenty of people in this world are hurting and in need. No one is asking you to take it on by yourself or even contribute to its solution but as is Human dignity you should embrace it. You should hear it and you should think about it.

The problems before us require all of us to solve, even if its a sympathetic ear and a hug. So before you rush to remove yourself from a situation you inquired about try making those in the situation feel better. There are many ways to help in life and most do not require money.

Try love it soothes wounds nothing else can heal.

Love is Never Wrong!

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

To Touch Inifinity

You know so many people of faith cling to this or that. They believe this or that. So what is true? What is true to anyone who is LGBT?

If you have faith, in whatever God you choose, know this. Divine power and inspiration created you. Which means there is divine power flowing in you. You are not a god and should not assume such but you are a part of one and a part of infinity.

Think about that. You are the culmination of your life. You are that tiny bit of infinity. You have been graced with the ability to do your minds will and be whoever you are. That power in you may be tiny in comparison to the whole but if you have not figured it out you are part of the whole.

Your story, your life adds to that which is infinity. You know when I hear others say this or that about divine judgment I sigh slightly and want to remind them you are only one part of something so massive, so grand how can you say what infinity is?

Know this, there is no battle between Heaven and Hell.  The only battle is within our own souls. Embrace  yourself and the expression of your soul. If it is pure no one can judge it wrong. If they try also know it is them who disobeys free will and the power granted to you.

So where do LGBT people of faith belong? They belong in the radiant rainbow that soars above after hate ceases to fall and true hearts shine. Infinity is a very very large place. And all things have their place.

Touch infinity! For it awaits you to share your story adding it's brilliance to the whole.

Love is Never Wrong!

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

What is Love? To me

Lately I have been going through some changes, an awakening if you will. A fog lifted from my life and before it were the true things I hold dear. What a wonderful feeling when you find such clarity and purpose. I knew what I had to do.

I reached out to some who were most dear to me and made time for them. I contacted the dearest in my heart and made an effort to say things I feel I must, to be spoken, to be complete. But he, for whatever reason, did not show interest. So I sit alone with heavy things weighing down my heart.

Being truthful I told some I know my heartache of being unsettled and hurt, knowing full well I will carry it until it gets satisfied. Their reply was forget him, don't let it get to you, find someone else to talk to...

You know those words are nice and practical to many but not me. My very core, its fabric, is love. To try and separate things from it would damage me irrevocably. I have always been this way. Some would say its obsession or a psychological disorder but it's not.

To me love is pure. I'm not saying I can not get jealous, have doubts, or lash out in rage if pushed enough. However I am saying everyone, no matter who, that has touched my heart is there no matter what they have done or chose to not be around me.

I've told you all about my time with T. He did some pretty horrible things to me and uprooted my life unjustly. Still I forgave him. It took me a long time but I forgave him. Even when he drove romantic love from my heart I still loved him and always shall. Love is me.

Let me describe it like this:

I am a favorite piece of clothing. I'm stunning and beautiful in your eyes. Yet my fabric loves to cling to lint which makes it unsettled in your eyes. So you take a lint brush and physically remove the lint. However you don't change the nature of the cloth. It still wants to cling. Maybe you use an anti-static spray to keep the lint at bay. You still don't change the nature of the fabric. You only place a barrier between it.

You can not change the nature of the fabric. Maybe your so desperate you try pulling out the threads that cling the most. Then you create runs which turn to holes, and eventually the fabric comes apart. Love when it's pure is forever. Try as you might if it is true it shall always be there. This is me.

Oh I get angry, tired, hurt like anyone else but it always comes to love. I always forgive and I always extend my hand. I don't give up on people. I try never to tear people down. My truth may hurt them at times but it comes with love which means it is always dignity and respect and from the heart.

Yes the pricks, tears, and pains carry with me for all time until peace can allow those pains to be surrendered unto the heart that needs to hear such. It may be scary or a tsunami of emotions but no one drowns in the warm gentle waves of true love. Because the simple truth is love raises you up to walk upon the waves.

You know I shared a lot about my time with M and the many things we dealt with and some of the wonders we attained. To this day I only want him to be happy. If he has found another I would be happy for love is taking care of him. With him love is also forever but his bears a special place in my heart. If I wrote a sonnet a day for a thousand years I could not express the feelings in my heart.

So I carry all I love in my heart for all time. Even when they cause me pain I carry that. Some of you may not understand that but pain can go with love and enduring separations, hardships, and denials
are one because they are connected to that love.

If my true love lived in Hell and I were in heaven I would clip my wings toss them to him so he could soar upwards as I jumped to the Earth. We would meet in embrace ignoring the protests from above and below because the truth of love is no price is to high when it is pure.

And for those of you with faith, know this. There is one thing Heaven and Hell have in common, love.

I could wax on about love as I already said but to clarify my topic title What is love? To me

I am love. All I touch are loved. All I connect with are love, for it is in them as well. So all those heartaches and pains some tell me to brush away or place a barrier to I say you can not change the nature of the fabric. And please don't damage me in your efforts to try for you will only destroy what is me.

The heartache and tears of a thousand years are nothing in the span of forever. And you know what? My love is forever. I hope each and every one of you gets a chance to know such grace. Till then keep love and faith in your heart, even if it's not faith in God. One you give, the other you receive.

I wish you all love! I wish you all peace!

Love is Never Wrong!


Fear, I think we all know how it feel or its effects upon us. The biggest is the hesitation it brings upon us. Sometimes it is only temporary but for some it drags on and on. Sadly that also makes it a part of your life.

When fear becomes part of your life it is much like barbed wire tied around your legs. Every time you move it is there, you feel it, and on every step it cuts into your flesh. To some they would rather feel that than deal with what they are avoiding.

It may seen counter to your minds view but always confront your fears. By all means keep caution but embrace the obstacles, people, and pains in your life. Live life with dignity. Live life with love. Also live life with humility.

In my own life right now I am reaching out to some people from my past to just talk and share so much that has gone unsaid for so long.  Some are hesitant and I hear it in their voices. They put things off and delay.

I'm sure they are expecting so much more than what is actually there. Maybe there are things that will hurt them or me. I really don't know their reasons but I hear their hesitations and hesitations are fear. Fear that lovely monster in the closet we are so sure is out to get us. 

I've known fear and a lot of it. It can paralyze if you allow it. Personally I don't like it. When I compose myself I try to deal with it. I suggest you do as well. If we do not we can not achieve love. And there is so many types of love from friends and family to romance and beyond.

If I have taught you all anything is love is worth investment and fighting for. So confront those fears that cloud your mind and embrace love. You will find things melt away and are no where near as bad as your mind made them to be.

Like I said before caution is fine but not fear. Live for love and live for life. Live in freedom!

Love is Never Wrong!

Sunday, March 20, 2016

Do you Really Want To Hurt Me?

It's been thirty-four years since this release yet for many it still holds true. Funny how we have come so far but still lag behind. My suggestion is just as the video suggests. Open your prison door, walk out, sing, dance, and most especially live.

Love is Never Wrong!

Saturday, March 19, 2016

A New Day

Today I have a message to the two men who enchanted my heart as I have told of late. The rest of you may watch as well. I have nothing hide.  So, to the men of my heart, I have this to say.

Love is Never Wrong!

Friday, March 18, 2016

The Power of Me

Today I want to share a very personal issue with me. I want to share my struggle and journey of the heart. It has been a very rocky road and many of my choices still affect me to this day. But one thing I am sure of is it is my journey. It is no one else' unless I choose to share it with someone.

My travels through life have taken me from heart to heart. Some good others not so much. But as I mentioned in my last post two times I found a fellow heart I would spend forever with. Finding that I will never regret. I will never apologize for and I will never forsake.

Since I have talked so much of M I will share some of that story with you. From the beginning I paid a heavy price of being with M. Early on it was mainly challenges between us. But we overcame those and became stronger.

However, all along my wonderful and magical dance with him people disapproved. They intruded in my life and objected. Some gave me ultimatums. Others took a more direct approach and made me pay a direct price for being with him. Still I did walk with him. I let him embrace me look deeply into my soul and we danced a glorious waltz.

After M and I were not together some thought it appropriate I find a decent partner and they chose one for me. He was not a bad guy and maybe if I had met him in another time and place I may have dated him. I don't think there would be forever but more a friend.

So I was confronted with an ultimatum to be with him. I said no. I still say no. It is my life, my soul, and my choice. No one will force their will upon me ever again. I'd sooner choose to cease existing than bow down before such. It's funny you don't think of such stories in the western world but they are there.

When I declined, the powers that be decided to make my life a living hell for it. I said no. I still say no. My heart is my own and I hold the key to whoever I allow in. I'm not sure M ever knew just what I endured for him and I still endure, but I have no regrets. He is in my heart for all time. Hopefully I still have a torch burning somewhere in his.

You know I have gone over this so much in my mind about such actions families and cultures push upon us in life. Society will not fall apart of two people are not together. Genetic lines will continue if people choose their own path. Family alliances should be made on honor and trust not auctioning off your young. And most important I think is no culture who forces it's will upon any member to undertake a relationship, marriage, or children, that is not their choice, is utterly corrupt and doomed.

To all of you who may live in a society like this I am sorry. I am sorry this may offend you and I am sorry your will is being compromised. I am not sorry for my words, my thoughts, or who my heart chooses.

The power of me is my right to choose. It is my life. You may not like my choice, you may object to my choice, and you may not be in control of its outcome but that is fine. It was never your choice or your life.

We all have the power of me. All we have to do is exercise it. I have and still suffer for my choice. I do not regret it in the slightest. Even though M is not with me I honor him in my heart. I always shall. Who knows maybe one day I may find another but even then it will be my choice and mine alone.

Use the power of you and choose your destiny, most especially in matters of the heart. Relationships are not contracts. People are not to be bought and sold. People are not bonds of alliance. People are not property.

I can tell you what people are. They are love. Any action that limits, suppress', or infringes upon that is unjust and a blight upon the very soul of a society. Life, people, and love are all personal things. Funny we are back to free will.

The power of me is the power of you. Exercise you right to self determination. Be free and allow your soul to sing to whoever it so chooses. I walk in fire for mine but the flames of injustice to do not burn me. They are cold and bitter. The only flame that burns me is that which my heart lit when I chose forever. And I would suffer it for eternity for it is gentle, kind, and loving.

My words are the expression of my heart and it's choices. Agree or disagree but they are true. I hope and pray you learn such grace. Because with or without M in my life he has given me enough to last eternity.

The only thing I would add would be to the man who was thrust into my life. I am sorry but you do not have my heart. I wish you happy journey's and maybe one day you will find one person you can have forever with.

I have the power of me. I have no regrets.

Love is Never Wrong!

Monday, March 14, 2016

Lessons of the Heart: Forever

Being LGBT it has become so easy to simply make connections and separate love and sex. Society has certainly driven us to this. Ostracism, harassment, discrimination, and threat of death forces things like love to be hidden in dark places when they should be celebrated in the light of day.

Only now in parts of the world can we marry, attend churches in the open, and do all those wonderful things like hold hands openly and kiss.  There is a long way to go yet but now some of us can undertake the full pinnacle of love, forever.

Forever...that stage of love when you could see your self staying with one person till the end of time. Good times and bad, sickness, and death. You would live your life with them and without second thought be happy to do it all over again, forever.

I know in my own life I have been blessed with two people I would say that with.  I love and treasure each and every one I have ever said I love you to but only two have ever made me feel like forever. Sadly both didn't feel the same.

That is part of what I would like to talk about today. Love is so precious and finding forever a treasure so rare your lucky to find it in a lifetime. So many of us have struggles and issues with such commitments because we get bogged down in so many things and pressures.

In my case I struggled with being LGBT and child sexual abuse. When you have been hurt so young and for so long before your body begins to awaken to such things you shut things down to protect yourself. You begin a mental and physical denial saying you may take this but you will not get this.

Sadly when you do that so young you may never turn some things back on or struggle to do so. You have doubts in not only others but yourself. If you have ever known being reduced to a sexual object it makes it hard to trust. It is hard to trust in yourself and others.

Of the two I let in to my forever zone I know I felt unattractive, uninteresting, unsure what to do, and some times I just didn't understand. Making connection when you shut them down so long ago is difficult because quite simply you have to make a new access to something like that because they may have never formed.

 Love can be difficult enough in normal situations let alone being LGBT, abuse, or persecution. Those who carry the T have it even worse they have that and dealing with gender identity. It is not easy, not at all.

However, as I was saying, the two I let in I had to create new places for them. It took me so long to accept they wanted me. I had to accept someone thought I was attractive, smart, funny and lovable. But I eventually did. Oh and what a feeling when you can get there. It is like a spark that could light a thousand suns. A joy you really can not describe.

As I said though both decided they didn't want forever with me. One of them I have told you about. That was M. All the hardships and pain we went through were enough to shatter lives but when we finally found our footing it was indescribable. I don't chase after M anymore. He made it clear he didn't want me so I will respect his wishes.

I'm tired of chasing and being the one to fight for something and start the spark so I leave it in his heart. He knows me and where I am. As much as my heart hurts not being with him I want him to be happy even if its not with me. If he ever discovers that old flame still burns I'd give him another chance but he would have to fight for me. He would have to chase me. The burden is on him now.

The other who touched my heart... what can I say? He was tall handsome, strong... Oh I recall those arms. He was kind and gentle. He had a deep faith in God and he made me feel so special. I was so unsure around him. I was so sure someone else was going to take him from me because they were more attractive, interesting, or talented.

It took me so long to accept he truly wanted me. When I did my heart soared. It said I would be happy to spend forever with him. I felt a peace and joy to sustain the heart through eternity. I can't say we were perfect people but we connected. But as I mentioned earlier he decided he didn't want forever.

In what I thought was a romantic get away he suddenly pulled the carpet out from under me. He was calm and collected and had obviously planned it. To me however I had no warning signs. I felt so foolish, humiliated, hurt, and heartbroken.  All those old second nature feelings from my childhood came calling.

"See what happens when you open your heart?" came screaming. I just wanted to withdraw from the earth its self and hide in some dark corner and that's what I did retreating to a dark corner of a cabin. I know the tears flowed freely that night.

Both were intensely painful and severe blows to my heart. It took me some time to get to a good place with both wonderful men. Oh I still cry now and then over the circumstance or when the memories stir and my heart yearns to once again be in their arms.

Some of you are probably thinking why risk such pain. My answer is simple if you don't take a chance it will always just be you. I don't regret opening my heart to either one. I may regret some events or choices with them but I don't regret the love.

I would give either of them another chance. But the burden would be on them. This soul has known enough pain. It's their choice to chase me or fight for me for once. It's their place to let me know I'm valuable in their hearts still.

So what does all this have to do with what I began discussing? Love is a thing so precious. It is a thing you must fight for and maintain. It is a thing you should not discard lightly. Doubts are not a an excuse. Not sharing enough similar interests are not an excuse. Not fitting your picture of desire is not and excuse.

Love is what ever happens. By all means enter life with an open heart and let it go where it will. You may be surprised and find the stuff of forever where you never knew to look. Don't give up till your sure it's no longer love. No one probably told you love is work but it is such a sweet task. And when you find it it's such a sweet joy.

Please set aside connections and explore love. Let all those wonderful feelings flow. If you fail pick up your aching heart and try again. Forever is a reward that washes away any pains you can carry. It is a fulfillment that leaves the heart bursting with joy.

To the two men who enchanted my heart and soul I say I am here and you still haunt the chambers of this wounded heart. The old kindling is still there. It maybe be a bit water logged from tears but I'm sure if you worked to light it, it would soar forth. I miss that warmth. If nothing else come visit this soul when it is near departing this Earth. My eyes would love to gaze upon beauty and say things long silent.

Forever does not end with goodbye. It is merely a pause.

Love is Never Wrong!

Tuesday, March 8, 2016


I came across this and thought it shared so much meaning to many of us. I hope you enjoy it as well.

Love is Never Wrong!

Saturday, March 5, 2016

The Burden of Shattered Lives

One of the most passionate things I carry with me as  LGBT, domestic violence survivor,  and the survivor of child abuse is how quickly ones life can be shattered. You can carry scars and pains for so long, some you never know are there till they erupt.

I am a firm believer each of us, no matter who we are, should try and pick up the pieces of us scattered about and  try to unlearn the hurt and pain. It is not easy. Some things we may never forget. Some things may have become second nature we react to.

When such horrible things happen I think there is a burden on society as a whole to help people heal and mend. Most of the time it's just a matter of love, support, and making sure they can trust others. It may take a very very long time but it is a burden we must all take.

I've said before everyone matters. We as a people move forward at the pace of our slowest member. It may not be convenient or desired but we can never be whole without them. And if we can not be whole then our future is just as shattered as those lives we left behind.

In my own life I have struggled to pick up most of the pieces myself. Thankfully though some good people have been there when I needed them. That being said there were also times when I was desperately struggling and no one would help or was around.

Each of us struggles with our own burdens in life but most of us are not being crushed under a tidal wave of pain. So please toss a life preserver to those in need or help them swim to safety. You never know what wonders you may unleash by saving a life or healing the wounded.

Beautiful things sprout from the seeds of love. Give everyone a chance to grow and bloom.

Love is Never Wrong!

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Proclaiming the Mantle of God

As a person of faith I usually refrain from making to many posts of a religious nature. I believe we each have to choose our faith or lack of. If we choose faith we have to choose the path that seems right in our very souls. Whatever the case it is our will and choice.

So much recently I keep hearing those who seek influence and power proclaim their view of God's will. This in it's self is disturbing to me that anyone proclaims to know Gods will on anything beyond their own life. What's more disturbing is proclamations that hurt others.

Allow me oh Christian brothers and sisters remind you of some things you seem to be forgetting. To those of you who are not Christian or even believers I'm sorry but this must be said to some stray folk.

Leviticus 23:22

When you reap the harvest of your land, moreover, you shall not reap to the very corners of your field nor gather the gleaning of your harvest; you are to leave them for the needy and the alien. I am the LORD your God.

Deuteronomy 14:28-29

At the end of every third year you shall bring out all the tithe of your produce in that year, and shall deposit it in your town. The Levite, because he has no portion or inheritance among you, and the alien, the orphan and the widow who are in your town, shall come and eat and be satisfied, in order that the LORD your God may bless you in all the work of your hand which you do.  

Deuteronomy 15:8

but you shall freely open your hand to him, and shall generously lend him sufficient for his need in whatever he lacks.

Matthew 5:42

Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you.

Timothy 6:18

Instruct them to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share,

John 3:17

But whoever has the world's goods, and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him?

Romans 14:13

Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this--not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother's way.

2nd Corinthians 9:6-7

Now this I say, he who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must do just as he has purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

Now I could go on with many more passages but I shall not. I am not here to judge but remind you of your Christian duty since some of you seek to proclaim it so vehemently.  The poor, the needy, the lame, the hurt, and the widow are going without. Give or do not, it is your choice and your actions make God's.

To my other readers who may have gotten to this point please regardless of religion or belief  lift those up around you, tend the sick, defend the weak, and love all.

Love is Never Wrong!