Tuesday, December 29, 2015

The Power of One

You know one of the greatest challenges many of us face in life is struggling to be ourselves or be free to do so. All to often in life some people or group wish to bring you into their fold or force you into it. They believe there is security, stability, and peace in one way, one rule, and one world.

Please don't believe those lies, deceptions, and illusions. Whether you are spiritual or not there is one truth. We as Humans are one people, but made up by the many. In short we have free will. What a wonderful thing to enjoy.

Don't get me wrong some abuse their will or make mistakes. Still the benefits of the individual far out way being bound to others. Now this does not mean we do not interact or tend to our fellows. It means every single one of us matters.

It's ok to think differently, act differently, and look differently. So many will tell you that you need to think less and follow more. That quite simply is not true. Yes we should be good people and be respectful of others but we are not cookies and no mold fits all of us, no matter how hard you try.

I've mentioned before we as a people are a fabric. Each of us and our life is a thread. Each thread is a different color, shape size, texture, even material. Some of us may even have prints or embellishments. That's ok.

Whether you are religious or not we all have free will, we all are different. The differences in us are not things that separate us. They are the things that bind us and allow us to grow. Can you imagine a world where someone didn't dare to publish science, poetry, or fiction? Can  you imagine a world where people didn't change fashion, hair styles, or jewelry? Can you imagine a world where your job is assigned to you regardless of desire, education is only for those selected, or free speech is only accepted if it matches the demands of the group?

The power we have as a people is in our individuality. Our survival is dependent upon being different. All those wonderful differences create change, awareness, and wonderful growth. Art, science, fashion, music, enlightenment... are all things that came from one person daring to present a new view.

Think about that. Someone, somewhere, at some time set in motion something wonderful that now graces your life. Maybe you have become so accustomed to it you don't realize it but such things are all around you.

People are not our enemy. Thought is not our enemy. Expression is not our enemy. Diversity is not our enemy. We are one made up of many. Each and every soul matters.

The power of one is in you. What do you want, feel, think, or even desire? What brilliant beauty or mercy do you wish to share or enlighten the rest of us with? It's ok to disagree, not enjoy the same things, or even have the same vision.

All those differences and passions are what make us great. Yes they may divide but if we respect and honor each other then we have peace. Change is ok. Never fear change. It does not mean you have to, but it does mean you have to extend honor and respect to those who do think so.

Yes good things can and may be lost due to change. That is ok to. We as people struggle to understand and achieve. Maybe we lose sight of things for a while in our ambitions but we do eventually restore balance. Sometimes we have to get hit over the head to realize it but we do.

The power of one is the fuel of dreams. Will you ignite your soul and shine in the great void dazzling all who gaze upon you or sit silently in the dark wondering what lurks and preys upon you in the ebony cloud?

The choice is simple, be!

Love is Never Wrong!

Thursday, December 24, 2015

Journey of a Broken Heart

In my life I have known many who have touched my heart. Some have become special and others just friendly faces on my journey. Many have left me broken hearted or just plain broken. Still this hopeless romantic still dances to old memories.

It is good to reflect on the good times and good people. It's also good to forgive the bad ones. Most of my life I have been healing from one pain or another. I've hid away from thoughtless and cruel visitors. I've hung my head in sorrow. Still I walk my lonely path.

Somewhere out there is my fairy tale and dream life. So I walk on and dance to tunes old and new hoping one day this life will fulfill it's meaning. Far to long have I allowed the stop to dictate my journey.

The beautiful truth is the wonderful freedom of life is those who share your journey instead of you stoping to join anothers. Life must move forward and the people and places in it must move with you. Otherwise you are just a memory frozen in time.

I smile at my future though because the wonders of what may come are quite possibly the the infinity of love and beauty. My heart will always carry all its memories. Maybe old ones will return and maybe new ones as well.

What I do know is I will hold on to it all. This broken heart knows only love and healing and what wonderful things. Maybe one day all I have touched will know this wonderful thing as well. Maybe one day the world will embrace love and dance with me.

The journey of the broken heart is full of pain and love but what a journey. Embrace it all because if we can't love we are just a memory and what a waste of something so precious. Live your life, share it with others, be you and smile at the beautiful things and people. Take anothers hand and share your long walk.


Love is Never Wrong!

Sunday, December 20, 2015

My Christmas Wish

I've shared so much with you all over time so I'll share my Christmas wish as well. Some of you may understand it others may not. All that being said it is mine and it is sincere.

This year I wished to see my family. I wished we could all find peace and common ground. I wished even if they can not accept me they would leave me alone. I also wished if they can not or will not accept peace that God remove them from my life forever.

I have some very good people in my family but good people make mistakes, don't understand, and magnify things beyond what they are. Then you have those who only have a stone in their hand. I have some who refuse to admit their wrongs and atone for so many horrible horrible things. In short very few of my family are true.

Everyone who has ever hurt me or treated me wrongly has been forgiven. If I have ever erred or hurt another I have walked my time in humility, pain, and humiliation. It is now a point in my life they either accept peace or leave.

There is only so much a soul can do to reach out and mend bonds. I've invested far to much time and if it does not bear fruit it is time for me to leave them behind. I don't worry though. Family is always there even if it is one of the heart. There are many good people in the world and they will be open to love, forgiveness, and life.

So in short my Christmas wish is for peace. We all deserve that. Hopefully they are in my life instead of removed from it. Maybe love will reign.

To all of you readers who know my path I am sorry we both walk it. But know family is not just blood relation it is all those special people you share your life with. You always have someone as long as you let them in.

I wish you all peace!

Love is Never Wrong!

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

The Cruel Cycle

Today I want to talk about what I call the Cruel Cycle. The Cruel Cycle is the cycle of abuse. In many ways it is part habit, rut, addiction, pain, and certainly humiliation. However there are so many other words and facets missing from that list.

When you have been in abuse it never just ends with the act perpetrated against you. It can be a wound to  your very soul. It also may be a task to rebuild yourself once it is over. However the sad part is those who are abused usually suffer more than just a single act.

Like me there are some of us who have gone through years of pain and torture. If we add in the possibility of it occurring in childhood we magnify all those descriptions by a great magnitude. No child should ever be hurt.

Part of this horrible cycle is what comes after whatever has hurt you. The pain and humiliation can be so hard to allow you to express. You can shut down socially, you can be so overprotective you shut people out of becoming to close, you learn to lie and deflect to hide yourself, and you lose yourself.

I think the last one is the hardest. We don't always realize we have lost ourselves. All those protective acts erode the foundations of who we are. Sometimes people who undergo abuse for to long begin to take on elements of their abuser. They can be brainwashed like any victim.

This sadly to is part of the cycle. Many abusers are carrying on what may have happened to them. Some may be deluded. They see their acts as something else. They may even feel justified in their acts. Abuse is never right but we must acknowledge it and the acts that may have created it.

In this cruel cycle lives are ripped and torn. Lives become shattered or lost. Having lived in this cycle I can tell you there is only one solution to it. The cycle must end. Regardless of victim or abuser it must end.

Both sides need help. Both sides have to heal and recover. Abusers must come to terms with their act and learn to stop. Abused need to learn to forgive and rise again. This is no easy task. It may take a very long time to undo some damage and pains. But we must try.

We should also know in all honesty that you may never forget but like all wounds they can heal. They may leave scars and they may remind you causing sympathetic pain but they do heal. Our hearts can rise again. Our security and confidence can recover. Our love can be expressed and shared.

The cruel cycle is exactly that, cruel. It is rarely ever simple or one sided. There are no easy fixes and simple solutions. However love must be it's starting point. We must love ourselves and as hard as it may be we must love those who have hurt us. Because if we can not forgive we can not heal. If we can not forgive our pain will linger and fester slowly making us just as bad as those who hurt us.

Forgiveness does not mean you forget. If we truly forget we only open a path to repeat mistakes in our lives. Live and learn. Grow and thrive. Love and forgive. I know all to well some may see this as unfathomable but love is the path to redemption and recovery.

Whatever our pains or sins we must end the cycle. Let it be in love so that the next generation never has to know the pains we have survived. I think that is the best we can hope for. Creating a future free of the Cruel Cycle is the greatest love we can extend.

No one should live a life of pain. Let us live lives of love.

Love is Never Wrong!

Saturday, December 12, 2015

Life Lessons

In my life I have been a caretaker to many. I've been nurse and rehab for friends and family. I've seen horrible ravages of disease and accident. At times it has consumed my life and drained my soul. However I have never regret helping others. Life has taught me many lessons.

Whatever is before you in life realize you are not in a war or a battle. You are living. And by living that means whatever the challenge is embrace life. Embrace those around you. It is so easy to focus on what upends us. But we should focus on life.

Never surrender yourself to that you can not control. Life is yours. It may seem the last thing on your mind and you may hurt or worry but know life is yours. If you can not walk then use wheel chair or crutches. If you hurt watch a show or listen to your favorite music. Things that entertain and make you feel good can surprisingly lessen pain if by no other reason distraction.

If you can not stomach much then take a small bite, chew it, swirl it in your mouth but do not swallow. No one said  you could not taste flavor. If you can not tend yourself then allow another. Its not a humiliation or horrible thing. It is an act of compassion and love. We should tend to each other in life.

Should life deal you to much at once and your mind and body is ever so heavy take a cleansing shower, open your window and smell sweet air and see the sunshine. It may not take things away but beauty and simplicity can allow us time to breathe. And sometimes time is all we need.

The pain dealt by those who hurt or are cruel can be crushing. However, know all things pass. You can remove people from your life. You can move. You can rise again.  Dignity, honor, respect, and life are yours. Only you can allow another to take those from you. You may not see it in your moment but you are beautiful, loving, compassionate, and ever so worthy.

In the case we can not avoid certain things in life then realize they are not stopping your life they are merely part of it. If you struggle with cancer you do what you can to treat it but you live. If our acts to overcome are not for living then we have lost our way. Because even in trying to overcome we must honor the life we seek to live.

Embrace all that matters to you. Embrace all those who touch your heart. Embrace yourself because you matter. Live life, live a sweet life. Whatever is before you is only a facet not your definition. You can stop and focus on it but is it worth missing the rest?

All things pass, we move on, we leave hurtful things and people behind, and we love again. Life is not perfect and that is alright. Perfection my friends is in the soul that survives, lives, and loves. If we did not struggle beauty would not be as precious and life not as sweet.

I told you recently keep that innocent soul for what a wonderful way to see the world. It is also a wonderful way to live in the world.  Be the swan that gently glides down the river. Life is beautiful, not just in the good times.

Go open your window, smell sweet air, cry at the beauty of the rainbow, laugh mightily, greet the world and others with love, and know peace is in you. Smile in the knowledge you are the one who writes in the book of your life. Events, people, places, things may enter your life but you write the story. Will it be a journal of love or pain?

Love is Never Wrong!

Friday, December 11, 2015

The Price of Exclusion

The UN put out a nice video I wanted to share.

Love is Never Wrong!

Thursday, December 10, 2015

Learning to Live

One of my greatest struggles in life has been learning to live. Everyone seems to have a different take on what it means to live and few overlap. I think that is because each of us are not quite the same. Our diversity creates unique paths for us all.

The one thing I have learned we all have in common is desire. Be that a lust for helping others or seeking adrenaline rushes. We each seek to feel excitement, love, adventure, pride... We want to feel good. We want to feel needed. Most especially we want to feel loved.

It is easy to forget to live sometimes, with the problems that face us. We may be oppressed, hurt, confused, or even lost. All those negative emotions that cloud our vision and create false shadows that haunt our lives.

Allow me to share one of the most beautiful and affirming times in my life. I've told you about my troubles with "M" now let me tell you about the wonders.

"M" was the first to truly make me feel alive. He gave me love, respect, and dignity. His time was mine at the slightest need. He encouraged me to try new things, go new places, and just live in the moment.

He was the first to make me feel comfortable just being me. Others may have taught me peace and trust but so did "M" There is nothing quite like having someone you are so comfortable with and trust that you never have to question or second guess. There is nothing like being someones focus in life.

The utter rarity that was "M" was that a look, a touch, and a presence could inspire and relay so much love and beauty. I never doubted him in the good times. To me it was as though an angel descended from the heavens caressed my soul and made me weep tears of joy.

Such love is rare. It is why I fought so intensely for him. I faithfully stayed with him because I touched that which  I have touched with no other. I can't say how he felt but he lit a fire in my heart so strong the furthest star could see its beacon.

After my rough times with "M" he atoned for his mistakes. Just as I apologized if I had caused any thing to have hurt him. If I combined most of the men I have met in life they would not equal him. He reached out sought forgiveness and mended my heart. Now days it is so rare to find a man who not only accepts his success but also owns up to his mistakes and makes right.

For you see my friends that is part of living. We reach out touch, explore, learn and grow. Our hearts acknowledge darkness and light. We redeem ourselves and others. In that moment we transcend into something greater than ourselves. We touch the very fabric of the universe.

Whatever is the fire of your soul find it, light it, and gaze upon its wonder. Remember that sweet nectar that touches your lips and feed a hungry soul, for that is living. Only you know its recipe but when you create it it is a moment of eternity.

And to my dear love "M". I know your pride and your pain. I am sorry if revisiting old wounds may have caused you any pain. But you have to know, to me, love washed the hurt away long ago. Now it is the lesson for others to know and learn because even in our darkest times if we can help one soul avoid or overcome what we have walked then our discomfort is a fair price.

I may not walk with you anymore and time and space separates us. Our problems and struggles have come and gone. Know also I have only ever wanted you to be happy and know love. If someone else touches that heart of yours please explore it and live. Because if they can get just a sliver of what I received then they are blessed. I wish you peace and love. And maybe one day I'll meet my friend and love once more and we can share the many graces we created.

For all of you my dear readers touch that fire in your heart, whatever may spark it. Let its warmth engulf you and dazzle in its shimmer. It's ok because love does not burn. Only it's absence can do that.

Love is Never Wrong!

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Letting Go

Today I want to talk about one the hardest things we have to learn in life. That is letting go of people and things in our life. It is a difficult for most anyone really. Sometimes we get so vested in emotions and habits we can't imagine our lives without them.

Letting go is very hard. I won't even pretend to tell you otherwise. In my own life I have had to let go of so many of my family, loves, and pains. At times it can leave you feeling empty and desolate. It can rip asunder our lives if we don't watch it.

Sometimes we fear change. We fear someone or something is going to collapse our world. But will it really? It may very well change it and you may hurt at the loss but does your world really collapse? I don't think so. It may seem so at the time but we still live and breathe. We have daily routines to perform. Other people still come and go in our lives.

The hardest thing of letting go is grief. We mourn those people and things we have lost. Don't mistake my words love may never end but relationships can. People can die. And sadly disasters can take all we have worked for.

However, life does not end. It may take us time to grieve our loses and get used to an absence but it does not mean we must stop and live in a swamp of despair. Sometimes letting go is part of love. If your spouse or partner is unhappy and wants to leave, you may hurt but if it is not working maybe you need to consider their happiness first.

If a love or family has passed you still carry them inside you. Every precious moment you hold dear is in your heart, it's just now up to you to hold. If you have been ever so hurt and see no way out you should know there is always someway. If you have lost everything and feel devastated things can be replaced.

There are so many instances of letting go. We lose family pets, favorite toys, loves, friends, careers...
The one thing in common to all of those things however is you. You are part of what made all those things special. Could you have known love without you being there to receive and give it back? Could you have enjoyed a favorite book without having read it?

The point is as long as you preserve you the possibilities are endless. You may not see them in your grief but they are there. You can love again. You can rebuild again. Quite simply you can. All that is needed is you.

I know the ravages of loss and pain far to well. But I also know love. Anyone or anything you love never leaves. It's just a change of life. And please don't fear change. Good things can come with change. New adventures and loves can occur. And as I mentioned all those loves are still in you, in that precious heart where you store the dear things in life.

Shed your tears for the old but remember to lift your head and look about, for love is all about if you choose to see it. Celebrate the old by living in the new.  Because how beautiful is that? The sacred vessel of you carries all that love into the new world to start again.

Once I told you love begins in you. It never ends. It may change but it never ends. Live in that knowledge you create, you hold, and you share love. It's ok to let go of people and things. It's not ok to let go of you. You are the connection that keeps it all alive and growing.

Love, what an amazing gift. Always carry it with you.

Love is Never Wrong!

Sunday, December 6, 2015

Charity Begins at Home

Every year around this time I give you suggestions how to help our community and the world in general. This year I would like to ask you all to support two causes near my heart. Victims of sexual assault and child sexual abuse is a topic most dont discuss let alone acknowledge. Please help them how you can.

RAINN  (Rape Abuse & Incest National Network)


National Childhood Sexual Abuse Helpline


You time and money can help mend lives. Share your love and compassion and make a difference in someones life.

Love is Never Wrong!


Pride is one of those wonderful feelings. There are so many variations of it and some are negative but let's not talk of those today. Let's talk about the good ones that warm our hearts and make us feel worthy, accepted, and needed.

You know in my life I have been proud of so many people. I've known pride in my self doing things I never imagined. Certainly not least I've known pride in people who overcame and rose above to be stronger and better than they were. People who who shared their hearts.

Being LGBT we think firstly of pride parades. But I think it is more important we have pride in ourselves, our lives, and our accomplishments first. I say this because its all those wonderful things that add up in our lives that defines us.

Yes be proud of being LGBT but know it's only an aspect of who you are. You are not defined by any label. You are defined by you, your choices, and actions. You are defined by your heart and your spirit to overcome.

Be you, be happy you are you, love you, and share that wonderful love with all the special people in the world. That's something to be proud of.

I know sometimes we feel so low or lost we can not feel pride but you should. We only think of the grand things as worth of pride but its the small ones to. Maybe your all alone and in tears and you still took time to help another more lost than you. Maybe you made it through another day in spite of being oh so hurt. Maybe you raised your head just enough to see a beautiful sunset.

Pride begins in you. It is all those obstacles that seem unbreakable or impassable that you manage to overcome. It is that good feeling when you share you or help another. And yes it is love of being you. No one else in this world is like you. Be proud of that for you are unique and whatever color your soul shines you light up the world.

So know all those wonderful things in your life are you. Be proud of them. Be proud of you for achieving them. Be proud of others who also struggle and stand in their own definition. Just be proud because each and everyone of you are beautiful.  Even if you can not see it you have value.

Pride begins in love. Is it any wonder why it makes us feel good?

Love is Never Wrong!

Saturday, December 5, 2015

The Lonely Heart

Today I would like to share some more of my life. Maybe you will see how I got to where I am. Maybe you will find similar things or hopefully warnings to avoid things and people. I'm not perfect and I have certainly made many mistakes in my long journey but I have tried to learn, grow, and be better. Sometimes life has to literally hit me over the head before I take notice but I eventually do.

My life has been a journey through rough mountains and valleys. Ive seen the highest peaks that took my breathe away and the lowest valleys where you could not see the sun.. Ive walked narrow rocky paths that wind along and you never know whats around the corner. I've fallen and had those same rocks shred me.

Still I carry on. I seek what many do. I seek companions for this lonely heart. Oh I've know some wonderful ones in my time. "E" if you are out there your kindness, grace, aide, and certainly beauty did more for me than you ever know. You gave me hope and direction when I needed it most. Yes I did need a good bat over the head on some things but you reached me.

Since I have mentioned "E" allow me to tell you a bit about her. She is one of those special people. Her heart is so beautiful and so is she. Her nature does not let her realize she has it all. Like any of us she has issues but she rises above them with such grace and distinction.

I met her when I was still learning the world. I was fumbling through things trying to understand so much and no one was taking time to help me. Oh I begged some to help and advise but they ignored me. Some even hurt me for it. However she did not.

"E" took me under her wing and taught me. I'm not sure she realized just how lost this soul was when she started and how much work it needed but she started the process. I love her for that. She was truly one of the kindest souls I have ever known. She got the rough me.

She got the me that had not yet recovered from more than a decade of child sexual abuse. When you go through that for so long at such a formative age it takes so much to right your path in life. You have a hurt in you are not sure you can overcome. You are wary of being hurt and sometimes that caution causes more.

I didn't know a lot about social interactions when I met her. But I knew I was lonely and I needed someone be it a friend or love. She was there. Sadly I didn't have the strength at the time to share the heavy burdens of my life with her but I think I would have been safe if I had.

When you have been torn down so much and every person is a suspect in your eyes you make a lot of mistakes. You sabotage a lot of good things and connections with people. You even make poor choices on finding special people.

Unfortunately "E" is no longer in my life. I messed up with her and it was not intended. One day I met one of her dear friends. Oh he was so handsome, funny, and kind. Most certainly he never wanted to hurt me.  He was like no other I had met. My heart rushed at the excitement someone like him existed. 

I rushed in ignoring her warnings to be gentle. Oh I did love him and I did hold him oh so dear but we did not fit and I didn't know I could tell him all the things I probably should have. Oh if I would have I think it may have worked. But it didn't work out.

That strained things between us. Still in my love conquers all stage I went back to him. I did open up some and he got to see a bit into the dark closet I hid and some of the horrible pains I had been through but it still didn't work.   I broke his heart. I broke mine as well. And as you can expect I broke "E's"

I cried a lot over those times. Beautiful souls are so rare in life. I wish they could have known why I was so messed up. I wish they could know so many had been cruel or used me. I wish I could have told them you were treasures so priceless. Like I said I'm not a perfect person I have made many mistakes in life.

This lonely heart learned to trust in others with her. I learned to trust in me. She and her precious friend helped me find enough peace to stand upon so I  could get out of the bog of pain I walked in. I owe her so much appreciation and love. But I know well enough to leave her be. My lonely heart ripped into her life and left her hurting. It was never intended. I never knew any better. I'd only had a life of bad examples and being used.

In my eyes "E" is one of those silent angels who walk our world. I hope she has a long long life filled with love and everyone else she touches gets to know just a sliver of that radiant heart of hers.

As I  mentioned though I began my journey as a lonely heart looking for a companion. I was so sure finding love was the answer to my problems and in a way it is but I had to first find love in me. I had to love me. She was the first to show me this. It took time to find my footing and I lost her in the process but the good she did was wonderful.

Many of the early ones I met in life would be laughing at this and making fun of me. Some would call me weak. Still others would think I was dumb. Maybe I was but you know what I am still here, I learned, and am still learning the wonders of the heart. With surety I can say any pain I caused in my desperate search was never intentional.

Sometimes our hearts get lost and they latch on to whoever shows them any kindness or attention. Sometimes we are so wrecked by events in life we don't understand or know which way is right. Sometimes all the examples we have be given are bad. And sadly sometimes people use you.

The lonely heart is in a lot of us. It floats in a sea of confusion all alone. This is why I always tell you to shine. A radiant heart can be a guiding lighthouse beacon to those lost in the sea. They may not always know it but they do save lives and they certainly make the world brighter.

So today I honor the beacon who lit up my world. The kind soul who taught me more than she ever knows. "E" I doubt you will ever read this but if you do and you know its me. Thank you! Please know you are beautiful and you have it all. You just don't know it.

Love is Never Wrong!

Friday, December 4, 2015

A Journey Into Thorns

Today I want to share the most painful journey of my life. I want to share my relationship with "T". I learned a lot of hard things with him and maybe you can as well. I can not share the whole story as it is to painful but what I will should teach you plenty.

"T" is one of those charmers and manipulators. Don't get me wrong there is a good part to him but few ever get to share it in honestly. I first met "T" at a party. He was charming, handsome, and part rogue. He caught my interest so I did what most do I chatted and got to know him more.

Things went well and smoothly and over time we began to date. Oh I'm a hopeless romantic at times and I fell in love. And according to "T" so did he. Ever faithful I stood by him and thought our love was growing. I thought we had a nice future.

One day I was ever so sick and he called. I answered and told him I was so tired and didn't feel good. I think I set the phone down next to me. I do remember his distant voice but I was sleepy. The next thing I recall was some voice calling out and I forced myself to wake up. It was one of the buildings people calling out on a wellness call.

I didn't have much strength but I called back. I must not have had enough for them to hear. So mustering all I could I got up and headed to the door of my bedroom. I remember this so well because its one of the few times "T" ever showed love for me, unbridled.

The building man was about to give up as I reached the door and i heard "T" pleading with him to check my bedroom. There was concern and pain in his voice. I made it to the door and collapsed against the door frame. "T" rushed to me, pleaded and coaxed me to stand and make it to the couch. He kept me awake till and ambulance arrived.

I was in hospital for quite some time. He faithfully came to me every day. He took care of my every need. He made sure my things were taken care of and career didn't suffer. That my dear friends is the first time I knew "T" loved me.

Time went on and I healed. He faithfully took me home and checked on me for quite a while after that. He has a nobility to him at times that I admire greatly. I can say with all honesty when his time was mine no one came between us. But such times were rare.

Anyway we grew closer had fun and traveled together. Then on his birthday I decided to surprise him. When I got to his home that he shared with friends I was met by one of them and asked with a happy smile to let me sneak up and surprise him with his birthday gift.

Wanting to record memories I had my camera in one hand and his gift in the other. I opened his door and called out Happy Birthday. Then I was greeted with the sight of his friends girlfriend on her knees servicing him. Stunned turned to hurt and anger.

I told him enjoy your birthday gift it will be the last you ever get from me. "T" began a hate filled rant. Saying all kinds of hurtful things that were not true he even blamed me. I tried to talk calmly to him repeatedly but he would have none of it. So I left.

My next step was my first mistake with him and its one he punished me for. Being a good friend I told his friend I broke up with "T" and I told him why. I even showed him the recording from my camera. I told his friend I was sorry to be the one to do this but he had the right to know. I wished him love and again said I was sorry.

I left "T" that day. I was gone for sometime but something unexpected forced me to come back into his life. I gave him another chance. I forgave. But that was not enough. Oh "T" charmed and played his role oh so well. Then one day he did the first of two unspeakable acts. At the time I didn't know. I was suspicious but gave him the benefit of the doubt.

"T" and I separated and some life, times and loves later we reconnected. We gave it another try but as the theme goes he lied to me, used me, and committed the second unspeakable act. However this time I knew. I confronted him and he confessed to me.

That was the most intense rage I have ever known. I hurt him! I hurt him intentionally. I hurt him justly and righteously. If there was a time to justify pain he earned that one. He deserved much more than I did but I am not a hostile person by nature. However some lines are so sacred you do not cross.

It took me a long time to find forgiveness for him. I couldn't hold that rage anymore I had to let it go. It served no one but it never meant he was free of his sins. He is one of those people who owe thousands of lifetimes of atonement. Sadly I doubt that debt will ever be payed.

I did forgive "T". and time marched on. "T" is one of those wounded souls like so many of us. He has never revealed to me his true pains but I know they are there. I know he has not dealt with them and because of that he fiercely controls his life with an iron fist and those in it.

There are good parts to "T".  I freely admit that. If you can touch his soul he can and will shower you with love. However as I said there are ghosts in his life that make him so wary. He sabotaged all the good people in ways I don't think he knows. He causes pain without knowing just how much he hurts others. In many ways "T" is another innocent soul but he has forsaken that innocence and allowed the harshness to engulf him.

I have some grand memories of him. I even went to him to comfort him when his sister died. It made me sad to see him in his loss and the man that was the charmer was all alone except family. All his friends that he called such did not show. They did not stand by him. Only I came to him. I think he kind of realized that day other than his family I was the only one who truly gave a damn about him.

But his pride, and pain, and demons did not leave well enough alone. He pushed and acted up and finally drove the last romantic love I had for him out of my heart. He drove me from his life. I gave him what he wanted. I set him free.

Some time later I was at a family gathering and somehow he found out. He showed up uninvited.  He knew what he was doing. He knew the pain he was stirring up. But I had none of it. I confronted him in honesty and love. "T" will always have have my love as a friend. Anything more though he has pretty much killed.

Anyway he threatened and bullied. When charm failed he began to use one of his old tricks to coerce and force. However he failed. He knows me. He knows I always greet him in love and honesty. Ive have always been there for him. But his mind can't reconcile that.

In some ways I think I may have been one of the only people to never use him or make demands of him. Even when we were together I never sought his wealth even though he had plenty. I never barged into his popularity even though he was the social butterfly. All I ever wanted was him.

However like I said he does not let go. Even when he achieved all that he wanted he came back for more. He hurt me and punished me. His action have and still do resonate in my life and my families. I can't hate him. I can't reason with him. All I can is love him and keep an open hand in hopes one day he realizes I'm here and always have been.

"T" taught me love does not conquer all. He taught me you have to deal with the painful things in life. You have to deal with them even if they threaten to wrack your very soul in pain. He taught me  I can forgive things I never knew I could.

I do know "T" knows of my blog. I can't say if he reds it but if you are out there "T" I welcome a visit from and old friend. But do so on my time not my families. You have my forgiveness for some time now. You have all that you wanted. Maybe one day you will show me you to love me and give me what I deserve. Go in peace my old friend. Please find love, let someone in, be vulnerable, and let go of all those old pains I know you carry so deeply. Be happy!

For all you my readers I hope you have something to take from this.  I can not share everything because some things are to hurtful but please know even in pain find love and give it. You may not get it back and some may distrust it but know you can only do whats in your power.

I hope and pray you all never have to go through the things in my life. I hope my words can teach you something.  I hope my life can be example of both what not to do and what to do. Live for love and certainly live in love!

Love is Never Wrong!

Tuesday, December 1, 2015


Family is one of those things all people have. Sometimes it is not always good. However we have two kinds of family. We have those assigned to us by blood and those we choose. Both are precious gifts.

All to often family is taken for granted or ignored for personal desires or goals. This can cause great strain or in some cases a complete break down in bonds.  It takes effort to maintain family and it takes love. But when we do share those two we can experience one of the strongest and greatest things in life.

Being LGBT family has always been a difficult and at times painful bond for us. At times we are rejected and hurt. It can scar us so deeply. Our hearts don't always know how to repair such pains. So sometimes we give up on family because it has only given us pain.

One thing I can tell you about all this however is family never goes away. People may fight and bicker. Hearts may grow cold and pain is the dish served at a gathering but it is not an end. As long as you carry love in your heart that bond is unbreakable.

Society has gotten used to single parents, divorce, throwing children out of a house... I think this is where we go wrong. Family is a part of you and your soul. You may get hurt, angry, or even left alone but that only means the burdens of love and unity must fall upon you.

This does not mean you are at fault. In any argument there is always many to blame. What it does mean is take that precious gift you have in you and share it. Mend broken hearts, forgive pain, and extend your hand in peace.

When all else fails and those given to you by blood are gone know you have the family of your heart. Be it a love, a child, special friends, or kindred souls you have the opportunity to form bonds as deep as any. Love! Love all those great souls in the world, your world.

In my own life I have family I have argued with, been hurt by, and those lost to time. I love them all and I miss those I no longer have in my life. Some are treasures so priceless and beautiful in my heart just thinking of them brings tears to my eyes.

If I were to give them a message from my heart it would be embrace while life gives us a chance. Share our lives and hearts. Know that from which you come and those who you share. Family is quite simply one of those sacred things. May it always know love, forgiveness, and peace.

Embrace your family whoever they may be and know love. Life is to short to not love, even with all the stumbles along the way. Never give up on family in your life, even if its a family of your own creation.

Love is Never Wrong!

Monday, November 30, 2015


Sometimes in life we seek atonement. Usually we have caused harm to someone or some people, in some way.  Atonement is the act of setting  things right and seeking forgiveness. It is not always an easy path to undertake. Rest assured however it is one we all must take for our actions.

Life is not always kind and neither are people. We all get hurt, lonely, or desperate. In our pain, anguish, and rage sometimes we lash out. Sometimes it is grievous and cruel. Thankfully though most are not.

Whatever the reason for atonement it is one of those ancient steps to purge the soul of heavy and dark things. The greater the need for atonement the harder it is to achieve. Some acts are so dark it is unfathomable how to begin addressing them, but we must.

Atonement is a hard act to do. Sometimes we are so racked with pain we must forget or wait for a time before beginning. Usually we begin with seeking those who we hurt asking for forgiveness. When we can not get that, things get substantially more difficult.

One of the oldest ways to achieve forgiveness is lower ones self, take on a meek life, or one of suffering and pain. This, however, is not the method for lower transgressions. Monks and religious stringents used to flail themselves for such acts. They sought the path of pain as a both an offering to those they hurt and a way to move forward.

If we are lucky such extremes are not needed but a few, a very few, must walk in pain to find their way. It is a hard and lonely path and it certainly is not for the faint at heart. If your heart is true however and you face your self and your faults with honesty you can.

Everyone in life must choose how they can best atone. Sometimes we may have thousands of lifetimes worth of things to amend. Hopefully however it is just a phone call away. Either way we must atone and we must make the world better.

In order to move forward we must remember that which has caused pain and must honor it. We must set things right. For if we do not we walk a path that will consume us and trust me the path of the unatoned is bitter and cold.

Your probably asking why I am mentioning things usually relegated to religion. My reason is simple. All of us regardless of belief have a duty to one another. We are each others caretaker. We are each others strength. We are each others love.

When we falter we must mend the fabric we have torn. Yes the stitch and patch may remain for all to see. They may see your act and that may make you feel low or shamed. However also visible is the act of mending. You took the time and the love to return integrity to the whole. And that is beautiful.

We in the LGBT community have know so much pain, regret, and hardship. In our own anguish and rage we to have at times lashed out. We carry the burden of atonement as any other. And the simple truth is it began with us and it ends with us.

I can not tell you how to atone for things in your life or to get those who have hurt you to atone but I can tell you  love is and excellent step. If you have hurt, release love into the world. It will certainly take more than the energy of a wrong path but it is necessary.

Be good to each other, help each other, lift each other up , and love. These things are not just for the good times. They are for the dark ones as well. Show your heart and even if you can not get forgiveness from those you have hurt you can achieve it in humility and love.

To those of you who can not forgive let me remind you at some point it becomes you who are creating pain and darkness. Living in darkness and acting with a black heart serves only you and it does not heal you. It consumes you.

Be free! Be Love!

Love is Never Wrong!

Saturday, November 28, 2015

A Sacred Promise

When I began this journey to share things from my life I did not expect to open up so much. I have known a lot of hardship and pain.  This blog was never meant to be about me. However I try to fill voids in information with my own story now and then. My efforts are only to help and let others know it happens. Hopefully you can heal knowing someone else shares a pain like yours.

I try not to shame or hurt those in my life who have made mistakes with my words but I think sometimes it may. They are Human to and feel regret and pain themselves. I love them all. I have forgiven all who have hurt me and I hope if I have ever hurt them they to have forgiven me.

 Since I have opened up this path I need to finish walking it. This from here on is for one person only. That would be "T".

"T" I know you know of this blog. I love and care for you deeply. We have always been there for each other if we really needed something so know what I am about to say is only a reminder. You have a Sacred Promise to fulfill. I hope you are making atonement.

I won't say anymore. There has been to much pain over this and I still carry the pain from it. Please fulfill your promise.

Love is Never Wrong!

Thursday, November 26, 2015


Today in the U.S. is our holiday of Thanksgiving. It is a simple holiday where you celebrate the blessings of the year and those in your life. Traditionally you gather with friends and family and feast on special foods, sharing in the bounty.

This year I want to give thanks to a few people that I can not directly. First and foremost I'd like to thank the sweet lady I met the other day while shopping. Your smile was warm and your kind and friendly chat was most welcome. You cheered this old soul up. It was refreshing. Thank you!

I am thankful also to all the people I have loved in my time. You all have added something to my life. Be they have been good or bad I still hold you all dear. Yes even those of you who hurt me so. So I wish unto you this day peace, love, and much grace.

Finally and certainly not least I am thankful for "M".  I don't think I ever told you just how much I loved you. You were the magical dream. You made me feel like no one else. With a single look you could brighten my world.

I can say with all surety if I could fall into your arms once again I would. But I also can say we would have to address the issues that parted us. Forgiveness is already there. You know that. I have told you that. Some may call me crazy for doing that and maybe they are right. But at least my insanity is love.

My heart has so wanted to tell you so many things I never got to say and share so many insights you never knew. Heaven knows I have many questions for you. But all that aside I have love for you still in my heart.

Maybe it wouldn't work or maybe it would. I guess this heart is saying you always have a place in it. Maybe in the time hereafter I can tell you all those wonderful things I hold inside. And hopefully I can once again hold you in warm embrace. I wish you most especially love and peace.

To all of you my dear readers please be thankful of those in your life. Celebrate the success' you have achieved this year and be proud you were blessed by such love and wonder. May you always find love.

Love is Never Wrong!

Preserving Value

Hello all. I hope your world is bright place filled with joy. Today I have only a simple message for you. Preserve the things in your life that have value. Preserve these many links and words I have given you.

This is no request for money or such. This is the simple truth. I will not always be here. Blogger can fail. One bad election can bring to power people who cause great harm. The reason my vary but the truth remains. This site may not always be here.

If any of the links I have provided or the many words I have shared freely find value in your heart please preserve them. To much is lost to history because of some reason or another. And in a digital age to much is erased.

If it has value to you, save it. Hold it dear. Share it. I think these words hold true of anything of value. So today I only have this to say. Preserve Value!

Love is Never Wrong!

Friday, November 13, 2015


Sometimes one of the biggest crimes to people is being innocent. They mock you, call you naive, even say your the problem. It is a bitter irony for a society to prey upon the new or unknowing. It's like a wolf stealing a baby simply because the baby didn't know to crawl away or cry out.

In my own life I have been rather innocent. The world I grew up in was rather tame. Honesty was respected. You didn't hurt people. Most certainly you did your best to help others. And yes you loved those in your life, however they played a role.

So many people I have met along my journey have done double takes that I was for real with my lack of worldliness or savy. I most certainly have been used, lied to, mocked, cheated upon, and hurt. Most of the time they did so simply because they knew they could abuse my trust.

For a long time I blamed myself for not knowing or understanding. I blamed myself for not being more observant or questioning. However with time I have come to realize I was not the one in error. I was not the one causing harm.

There are people in life so set in a path of exploitation that they only wish to get what they want. They do not think of others or if they do its for their own goals. If you ever have the misfortune of meeting any of them please know innocence is not a fault. It is instead a good trait.

If you don't know something, have never been taught, or encountered something or someone that is not a fault of yours. It's ok to to be unaware and naive. If more in the world were like that maybe there would be fewer fights, and less pain and suffering.

Those of you who have tasted the bitter bite of harshness please hold on to that innocent part of you that remains. The world is what you make of it. Please continue to trust. Please help without expectation of return. Please see the world with those innocent eyes.

Surround yourself with others who share those new eyes and hearts. Make your world a place of beauty and peace. Shake off those who use you and let them go. Extend an open hand to the world.
The world may not take it but you have not added to its misery.

Embrace innocence and shower the world with love. Life is beautiful if you see it through innocent eyes.

Love is Never Wrong!

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Lifting the Burden

Have you ever felt so hurt, abandoned, or even oppressed that you wish you could run off into some distant field and just let the storm in your life wash it all away? Maybe you were lied to, cheated on, hurt, or whatever but it turned your world into an exercise of pain.

I have dealt with so much pain in life and I know these feelings well. In my own case my openness, love, curiosity, and knack for not giving up on people has contributed to a good deal of it. There is one truth to all that however. That would be it begins and ends with me.

Whatever chain that binds your heart so dearly may hurt and cut ever so deep but it is a chain of your own placement. Do not mistake my words for placing blame upon yourself that is not my intent. However that which touches us is our own.

We choose to love, forgive, and smile. We also choose to hate, hurt, and cry. Yes things outside our hearts may be the cause of our pain but it is only there because we have opened our hearts to it. That's not a bad thing either.

All these pains, all these torturous pains are expressions of a loving heart. If you didn't love you could not feel pain. For there would be nothing to lose. And that my dear friends is a gentle and inconvenient truth of life.

I've mentioned before to incorporate all those dark things and pains in your life to your whole rather than casting them off or burying them in some deep hole. If you embrace that which hurts you you embrace love.

I know it may not seem apparent but it is true. Unravel each rope binding your heart, unlock every chain, and cut the barbed wire that cuts so deep. Weep those sweet tears of pain if you need but know it is your heart. Take each of those stones that weigh you down and use them to build a foundation of love.

Take them and build something wonderful. Take all those wonderful and painful lessons and share them with the world. Take all that pain and turn it into beautiful love. Forgive those who have caused you pain, sorrow, and tears.

You are a beautiful artist and your life is the masterpiece of its entirety. Embrace all those shadows in your heart. That darkness accents the light. It lets us appreciate the day. It gives us purpose to shine. Because hiding in the dark can be scary and only leads to us losing our way.

Lift each of those burdens plaguing your heart and let the rain wash away the dirt and blood. And when the storm passes let the radiant sun shine upon your face, warm your soul, and dry your wet shivering body.

Live, Love, Forgive!

Love is Never Wrong!

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

A Sober Life

Today I want to talk about the taboo topic in our community, our society. I want to talk about alcohol, so please hear me out. I know so many are staunch one way or another on it but I think I need to share my perspective as it is a issue so wide spread in society as a whole, not just LGBT.

My experiences with alcohol have been quite dark and sad. You should know that before you read any more. However if alcohol is a big part of your life read on you need to hear the other side. I'm not hear to condemn just to give you a new perspective.

In my life I have known far to many who place their lips to one bottle or glass. They sought fun, entertainment, numbness, and escape. The reasons are numerous but it was a wicked barter to achieve such.

When I was a child my fathers mother married a man who was an alcoholic. Generally he was a happy drunk and when he was I was his little buddy. When he was not there were long times between visits to see my grandmother. I was sheltered from the truth but I always knew there was something more.

In my teens I had many friends and people I would hang around with. Some drank and they did so to much. One got in a serious accident that nearly took his life. Another got a girl he didn't even know pregnant because he had no control of himself.  He was a good guy but lacked control when drunk. I didn't understand it at the time but I was there for him and listened.

It was not until my adult life I learned the true darkness of alcohol. You hear all these stories one way or another. You hear those who drink say its so fun and a great escape. It never was an allure to me and I was neutral. I was innocent.

One day I met a wonderful man. He was tall, dark, and handsome.  His mind was sharp and full of humor and passion. He was a dream come true. If I could have stopped time in that moment I would have lived it forever.

However time does not stop. My love, my deep passionate love had a problem. He to sought the end of a bottle. There were many times I was unsure about him in the beginning when he would become drunk. But like always I love first and I tried to help I tried to advise.

But people who impair their minds with alcohol don't always see your efforts as they are. They think you are judging them or trying to control their life. One night my love came home quite drunk and his mood was different. I made the simple mistake of telling him he needed to stop.

In a dark scene from a movie he snapped his head my way and uttered bitter angry words. When I tried to touch him in comfort he snapped me back against the wall. In my second mistake I tried to push him off of me. That was the first time I was beaten.

Trying to escape I fled to a room and locked the door. He broke it in and in the process threw me into the wall. Concussions are lovely things. I have no idea how long I was out.I gently awoke hearing him scream to get up and he knew I was faking it. However I was not.

I left him that night and fled to a place of comfort. It was some time before I could forgive and try again. I didn't want to give up on love. I didn't want to give up on the man I knew was beneath spirits from a bottle.

Time went on and another familiar night and another familiar visit from the dark stranger that inhabited my love happened. This time a beating was not enough. I was violently raped. You have no idea how bad that feels to lose someone so dear by such a brutal act. A brutal act fueled by alcohol impairing judgement.

I lost a lot that night. It created one of the darkest times I have ever known.

Another love of mine was the social and happy drinker. He never was the violent type but he did make alcohol his preferred method to have fun and to socialize. He never knew how much he made me nervous or cry when I saw him like that.

He will never remember the times I carried him to bed took care of him when he was sick or was sure to keep things quiet the next day offering comfort in his recovery. I lost so much of him to alcohol and recovery from it. Don't mistake me he was a fun happy man when drunk. He had a sincere honesty I almost wish he had in real life, but the trade off to losing a love to bottle is a painful one.

Trading a chink of your life to have fun is not a good exchange.

There is only one time I allowed myself to indulge in alcohol freely. Oh jello shots can be so deceiving in their flavor. But sure enough they do impair. I could handle that so I tried a drink. One became two, three...

I recall things as in a fog. Its like some film of you but its not you acting. I recall being so drunk I stumbled and fell. I remember being carried to bed. I remember kissing a handsome man and I remember him trying to have sex with me. I also remember my mind screaming no but those words never reached my mouth or my arms.

I remember closing my eyes and just choosing to let the alcohol black me out than to experience sex that was not wanted. That was the last time I ever touched my lips to a bottle. That was the last time I allowed a drink to control me.

I have shed to many tears in life because of alcohol and its effects on me and others. I've spent to much time playing second fiddle to a drink that takes peoples time away from me. I've hurt and seen to much hurt from a night of inebriation.

I'm not here to tell you how to live your life. I'm not against alcohol. Having a drink with a meal or in celebration is fine. Even having a drink at the end of a trying day is fine. But moderation is a must. When you give your life to a bottle of some intoxicating liquid you burden yourself and others. You hurt yourself and others.

Please embrace life, a sober life. Please love, love yourself and others. Please know fun is abundant without a drink. Please don't hurt yourself or others. Please...

There are many stories I could tell you. These are just a few from a long life. I have forgiven all the pain visited on me by bottle of something or another. But the tears of that pain still well up in my eyes. The tears of lost love haunt the darker chambers of my heart.

Drink or don't it is your choice. But please know when that bottle touches your lips you begin to change your life and those around you. Maybe it won't be significant maybe it will be utter catastrophe but ts a gamble with life and love.

Please live a sober life. It can be a beautiful place when you see it from clear eyes and a loving heart.

Love is Never Wrong!

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Resolutions of the Heart

Love, sweet love. It is the thing that can brighter our world and darken it to. It is a mystical emotion that drives us to be more than we are, that feeds us when we are hungry, and burns us when we are weak. For all its magical ride it is one of those things everyone should explore.

I could write a lifetime about love and still only touch on its entirety. What I would like to talk about today though is resolutions. Many of us find navigating the heart unknown territory or a winding road where we never know whats to come.

Imagine love to be a beautiful race horse or a sleek sports car with unbridled power. You are the one at its reigns or wheel. When love feels good we happily speed along enjoying the wonderful places we go. But as with all things going to fast sometimes we don't see the dangers along our path.

Relationships are delicate dances. They rely on us to nurture them and keep them stable. They rely on honesty and attention. And I think most importantly they rely on communication. If two of you are speeding along on loves path it is essential you look out for each other.

So what does this have to do with resolutions?  Today whether you are LGBT or anyone I see and hear about people being hurt by love. They carry their heartache into the next and don't fully embrace another. They in their caution and pain sabotage what might be the adventure of a lifetime.

This is why we should all have resolutions of the heart. We should live honestly and sincerely with others. We should communicate all the things that concern us and cause us concern. For if we do not we set a path that will likely end in peril.

More simply, if love begins to fade tell whoever you are with. Be honest, be sincere, and be loving. You entered a relationship with some sort of love, even if only as a friend, so end it in love as well. Give others the respect to resolve.

Have you ever known or felt the sting of someone cheating on you? Imagine the pain and anger you feel when you find out. It hits you like an avalanche. This is because the person who began to cheat also began to disconnect  from the relationship before you, engaged in another, and then when it is discovered waylays you like a highwayman.

Has there been a friend in your life that you suddenly found out spread lies about you? Maybe they used you for their own ends. Possibly they just stopped talking to you all together. They became a ghost that haunts your life. You may never know the why but you certainly feel the absence and pain.

Whatever the disconnect is, in whatever relationship, you must resolve to end it properly. Whatever the reason that causes a separation you must do so in love. And finally whatever reason you find to avoid the end confront it in honesty.

The very moment you begin to change or end a relationship you need to talk to the other person involved. You need to be honest and let them know things have changed. There may be pain, anger, discussion, and tears. But please do so. Everyone is Human and deserves respect.

When you deny a person the knowledge and time to deal with a change of the heart you hurt them. You hurt them intentionally. When you simply stop interaction with another you leave them in questions. You leave them wandering what they may have done. You to hurt them intentionally.

Love is about connections. When you touch another you begin forming all these wonderful lace like webs of connections that can enrich each of your lives. Just as surely when you rip them away you darken life. You leave someone in mourning.

This is why I tell you leave a relationship in love as you entered it. It is not a sin to lose interest, fall in love with another, feel hurt or betrayed. But to rip away bonds so suddenly and with no concern for another is.

I know there are exceptions to every rule. However the majority of life's connections deserve better. Be kind, give people time, and give people love. Do so even if it will cause pain. Because when you do so in secret or suddenly you only serve you and hurt another.

Build a life of love. Touch whoever comes into your life with love. Love those who leave your life as well. Love is giving and sharing, even when it ends.

Be love, extend love, and receive love,  Resolve the heart!

Love is Never Wrong!

Saturday, October 24, 2015

Creating Fire

One of the earliest and most innovative things we as people learned was the ability to create fire. We learned to cook our food, warm ourselves form the cold, and light our world in the night. We took that fire and applied it to so many other things and found the world open up to many new discoveries.

However there is the other fire that is not as often discussed. That is the fire of your creation. I'm sure you know what I'm saying. It is that wonderful part of you that goes out and explores the world, that learns, and makes things better. It is the spark of a gracious heart.

Unlike physical fire, that which ignites from the heart burns brighter. It is honesty, integrity, and compassion. The fire within you leads that struggle to love, teach, right wrongs, and mediate peace. So much can spring forth from one heart, one soul.

To many of us forget that we are the masters of change. We as people create our worlds. Every action we perform contributes to the grand design that lays out before us. We may never know all the factors and we certainly obsess over them but there is one truth in all of that. That truth is we can never know it all and there will always be uncertainty and inequality.

I think that is the point though. We as people get stuck on the details instead of looking forward and overcoming what is before us. We strive to create perfection instead of knowing perfection is relative. You may love the world if it were colored in all the shades of blue yet another may see it as horrid and wish to see a vivid rainbow.

In your life you have the power and ability to change things. You can fight injustice, greed, exploitation, and so so much more. But it must be done by you. You must take that first step to help the wounded and fallen. You must extend forgiveness and dignity. You must correct the mistakes of the past. You must love.

All the problems in the world can not be solved overnight or in a thousand nights but the solution to them begins in a single act by you to make it better. No one expects you to solve it all but you can take one step toward radiance. You can and must.

Take that spark in your heart strike up a torch and light the world. Show the world you can feed its soul, you can warm the weary and tired, and you can drive away the dark night, You can challenge those that wish the world steeped in darkness and you can rise above a system that sells people and its self.

You are the spark! What will you do with your fire?

Love is Never Wrong!

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Triumph of Love

I sit and watch people with so many goals go to and fro now days. They seek this and that. Many times they are lost in their own quests and illusions. Some are just lost and confused. Others sit hopeless and empty. They have lost their way. They have surrendured to despair.

Sadly I can not tell you what makes you happy. Only you can do that. I can not tell you how to occupy your time. I can not tell you how to choose goals that make you feel good. I can not undo the wrong visited upon you by others.

What I can tell you is the path that makes me happy. Maybe you will find truth in it as well.

I do not chase fame. It is a bitter companion that lifts you up when you are adored and drowns you when you are forgotten. It may be nice to be loved or appreciated by many but it is not personal and in that it truly only decorates your life not fills it.

I do not chase fortune. Fortune can make life easier and comfortable but it also a job to maintain and protect. It creates envy and in that emotion someone somewhere wishes to take it from you. It to does not fill your life except with things not substance.

I do not wish to live forever. Forever is a very long time. Imagine the heartaches of seeing friends, loves, people, and places that are special to you dies or be destroyed. Imagine having to contend with an existence where you have to live the same thing over and over simply because you have exhausted what there is to do. What a bitter existence. Only the sad live forever.

I do seek love. Love can fill your soul. It can send you to heights you have never known. It can come form places you never expect. It is the fuel of the heart. I am blessed I have loved some and one still fills my heart and one day I hope I see him again. I hope he remembers me. And I hope he holds me at the end.

I seek freedom. I seek freedom so all people in this crazy existence can live and choose their lives as they will. I choose freedom from those who seek to force their will upon others. I can say I have failed many times at this but I can also say my failures were ignorance not malice.

I seek peace. Peace is so precious. It is the quiet time when we can breath safely and happily. It is a bright summer day on a mad adventure to where our mind wanders. It is the security that all people can live, grow, and heal from the dark times. Peace by far is the measure of free minds and love.

There are many people out there and each has their own life and story. Some have known pain and injustice others have created it. What is important though is to cast off that selfishness. Live for others. Lift them up. Make them your life.

You may ask why you should devote so much time to people who may not give back. All I can say is it more about the act than the reward. Think of love as sunshine falling on a gentle day. It warms your face, lights your way, and showers all without question.

What a wonderful thing. I create and show beauty, make things grow, and warm the cold. Imagine looking down and seeing all that happen. Is there no more perfect view?

Whatever you seek in life, whatever path, and whatever joy please do so in love. Because even if you fail in love or make a mistake it is an act given freely. It bears no malice for it is real and Human. Embrace your love and shower the world with it. Only then will things be clear. For it is the only path of hope.

Love is Never Wrong!

Tuesday, October 20, 2015


One of the greatest things we all must muster in life is courage. So many try to hurt us or drag us down for many reasons. However we must stand tall and face each challenge to us with courage. We must retain our dignity.

There are many forms of courage but only one is true and lasting. You will know it by four pillars of its definition. Love, Life, Liberty, and Peace! Some may question these fundamentals but they are in fact the definition of true courage.

You must love in life because without it you hold nothing dear. And if you can not hold something dear you have nothing to fight for.

Life must be precious. If you can not respect and hold life precious then you can not respect what it offers and brings to the world.

Liberty is by far one of the important issues for all of us. We must be free to live, think, and express ourselves. Without it we are a shadow of what is.

Peace is so precious. It is and must be our approach to others. It is easy to get lost in rage, anger, and fear. But peace allows all things to heal. And so much in life needs to heal.

Everyone thinks of heroic courage of a warrior standing for his nation or beliefs. But few look deeper. Why does a warrior fight for a place? He loves his home. He wishes to ensure he and his friends and family can live safely. He seeks to keep those around him free to live as they will. And finally he wishes for peace so no one else he loves must die.

All of these are the pillars of courage but know one must not be a warrior or a hero to have courage. You only need to stand. So how do we stand? We stand at every challenge in life. We may not win every challenge and we may very well leave a challenge hurt but still we must stand. We must greet what life gives us with courage.

If you are sick live as best you can with what you have. Love all the special people and things that make life grand. Give yourself the liberty to choose how you will be treated. Finally embrace a peace with what is and what you can achieve. Be at peace with what may come.

Several times now I have told you my personal motto of Live, Love, Forgive! All three require courage. Incorporate courage into your life. Let it guide you. Know that courage is only those four pillars and nothing else.

It is ok to fear, be scared, be confused, make mistakes... What matters is how you handle all those things. Do you face them with courage or do you allow them to grow like mountains in your life?

Face life with courage. Face others with courage. Face our actions with courage. Face our adversity with courage. I won't tell you how to live your life but I will share with you some wisdom of mine. I hope and pray it serves you well.

Love is Never Wrong!

Sunday, October 18, 2015

Tending our Lives

You know one of the first reactions when I meet people in life is a sort of look asking if I am for real. Does someone like me truly exist in the world. Even amongst long time friends I have always been the safe harbor in the storm. Oh do not get me wrong I have my problems and issues like so many others. However that which sets me apart is my view of life.

In truth I am not so different. But as any other unique being I have my own perspective on things. So today allow me to present to you that special view that is my own. Maybe it will help you tend your life as well.

You are a being of exceptional power, strength, and beauty. You may not always see it or feel it but you are. Like a tiny sapling you spring from the well of life and the rich earth. From where you spring forth you carry that which has been. But now in new found growth you blossom into that which is new and different.

Over time you grow and shape. You change the world about you. Your very will and existence creates new fabric in the tapestry of life. It is this tapestry that many seek to change. And to some degree they can. They to are beings capable of changing their world. We all share an existence but we are masters of our own. 

Realize that which you put out into the world falls back down to the good earth and rains upon the well. Some may call this the circle of life. It is much more than any one description. Because everything you interact with your life takes on a piece of you.

One kiss can spark love. A smile can create hope. A touch can dispel loneliness. It is why I tell you all about love. It is ever so important to make that a foundation of your life. Because like the tree that releases its moisture in the day cycle to create the rains that eventually fall, that carries part of you with it.

If it is love then you nourish the soil and water to grow things filled with such things. If you carry pain, regret, and hate you to shall cause such to grow. Yes there will be those who try to carve into the trunk of your greatness to influence its outcome but it is only the foolish ramblings of those who do not understand love and life.

Like a real tree you must filter out that which is not good for you. You must hold the darkness and negativity in your body till your reign is done. Release only what is good for growth. When our time is done allow that which we held to rot in the body. For it is not worthy of propagation.

Take in the things that nourish you. In spite of being hacked, burned, and scrawled upon allow it to heal. Leave its darkness behind. Have you ever wondered why trees fossilize into coal? They leave behind their impurities. Things that burn have no place in a life showered with light and gentle winds.

Touch the sky, feel the night breeze blow through your limbs, rejoice in the morning dew. You are that which shapes life. You are that which weaves that which comes after. Do you wish to poison your well and the rich earth or do you wish to leave it rich and fertile?

Be the tree and stand tall and proud. Grow to such heights that you create wonder. Embrace all the life around you. Offer it shelter from the heat and rain. Filter the air so others breath clearly. Drop the seeds from which new life will grow.

Maybe I have over simplified things in this explanation. Allow me to say however it is not simple at all. Life is shaped and molded by every single thing you encounter from your first breath to your last. Never underestimate the power of a single event. For every event becomes part of your growth.

I've talked of legacy before. So here it sits. how do you chose to interact with the world? What do you put forth into it? Choose wisely for it is what you get back.

Please filter out the darkness and leave it to rot. Embrace the light and enrich that which sustains life.

Love is Never Wrong!

Thursday, October 15, 2015


One of the hardest things many of us have to learn is survival. We can not always speak our thoughts and hearts. We can not always dress as we would desire or act as we feel. Many times we can not express our love or pleasant joys of gazing upon beauty. We learn to hide. We learn to survive.

As a survivor I can tell you there is a secret to survival. It is not a complex thing but sweet truth. Memorize it well because it is ever so important. Existence is not living. There are many things that make us go into a mode of survival. But the one truth we must hold before our soul is to live.

I know many of you will ask how? I can't... I am not allowed. I will be hurt. It's really is not about that which is outside yourself. It is about you. Never forget who you are. Never be ashamed of who you are. Never stop being who you are.

The world may force us to hide or survive but we must always be us even in the darkest times. Nurture that beauty you can not show. Let that precious heart sing. Allow those amazing thoughts to flow. You are and always shall be beautiful.

No one can take that which is you from your soul. Only you can do that. That is why I tell you existence is not living.  You must live and you must be you. If you must hide or cloak yourself in costume to survive then do so. We need you in this world but don't become the character in this grand play forced upon you. Be the actor who in the quiet after the performance returns into full blossom of themselves.

Know there are many ways of expression. If one closes for you then open another. If a cloak is forced upon you then make it a brilliant feathered mantle that lets you fly. If your voice is taken from you paint the world all the shades of your heart. If the world breaks your bone and sheds your blood stand and release a dove of peace.

Live, Love, Forgive! Never stop being you. Never become what you are not. Never just exist!

Please watch that beautiful sunrise in your soul for we Humans stand on this Earth for only a brief time. If we always hide in shadows we can can never see the sun. Besides you should remember after every storm a rainbow appears somewhere at sometime. And what a sight to behold when it does.

Enjoy the warmth of a bright heart and mind. Enjoy being you. And never settle for anything less than beauty. Because existence is not living. Survive but do so in love and life.

Love is Never Wrong!

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Creating Change

I'd like to remind you all we are at a crucial time in history. Humanity is opening up in so many places and sadly closing in many others. It is a struggle as much for freedom as anything else. You have the beacons of light and the harbingers of darkness.

You must stand and create change. You must live. You must love. This is life for not only you but others and future generations. It won't be an easy journey. It may be very hard but it is one we all must take.

If we look at histories legacy on change it is a long dark one paid for in flesh and blood. Enough has already been paid but some don't see it. Some need to be reminded we are all Human. Some must be taught we are all equal. Still others must learn hate is not an option.

Go forth and stand. Stand united and in love. Let your beacons of light drive back the darkness. Let them know we are here and always have been. Let them know we are Human and we are love. Don't let them exact more payment for change.

Humanity is not a commodity to be price gouged. It is not a thing to be consumed. It is not a thing to be thrown away. I implore you go forth and stand. Do so in pride and love. That which is can only be changed with one voice and one will. And that must be from all of us.

Change begins in you. Change begins with your first action of love, dignity, and will. It's ok to feel fear. We all do. But stand anyway. Be that brilliant light that stops the long dark night from falling. Have we not slumbered enough? Have we not had enough nightmares?

Please, create change. Hope and love are what you need. Nothing more and nothing less. If you create it, anything is possible. If you do not this world truly ends in darkness.

Create the change. Be you! Be love!

Love is Never Wrong!

Thursday, October 8, 2015

To Be Human

You know one of my greatest pleasures is exploring other people in life. Talking to them, doing things with them, and loving them. Everyone is different and we all take different journeys in life but when you get a chance to share a path with someone it is so special.

To touch anothers life gives you so much knowledge and emotion. If we are wise we learn and we share with them as well. Maybe they lift us up or us them. Even those who seem so alien to us have stories to tell. It is the beauty of life.

Regardless of our views, choices, or differences we can rest assured we are all Human and share a goal to navigate life. I've mentioned we each take journeys and people are the majority of those.

This world is vast place with billions of us upon it. No two are exactly alike. We all look, sound, and act differently. I think that's the beauty of it all. If we were all the same would there be much to explore in life?

I know some fear change and that which is not like themselves but why fear? If you are in the presence of another Human is it so unknown? Are they so different? Are they so unlovable?

People are people. They feel, hurt, cry, and love. They struggle just as anyone else. They are the same as any of us on this world. For we are one. We are love. We are Human!

So the next time so you come across another that seems so unlike you may I suggest you take the time out of your journey and explore the soul before you. Say hello, start a conversation, help them if they are in trouble, and share your life.

Many have searched for the purpose of life but few have pinned it down. Maybe the purpose of life is the journey and the people in it. Maybe the Human legacy is love. Because what a wonderful gift to leave the world.

Maybe one day if we honor that legacy and we honor Humanity this world will be a beacon of beauty and love. A place where as one we banish  fear, hate, and cruelty. We open ourselves to that which is more than ourselves and embrace truth.

From one traveling Human to another I wish you well and pleasant paths. If we ever meet I hope we can chat about each others experiences long into the night and with loving smiles welcome the morning sun content another shares our hopes and dreams...

To Be Human!

Love is Never Wrong!

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Links of Love International: Gay Ireland

Today I have some new links for my international readers.

LGBT.ie  is a help and support line.




Cork Gay  Community Development Company is a support organization.


Transgender Equality Network Ireland 






OutWest is a social and support group for western Ireland.


LINC is a Lesbian and bisexual women's support and advocacy group.




Outhouse is a LGBT community support center in Dublin.



Outcomers is a social and support group of the LGBT community in North-east Ireland.


The Out Most is a free LGBT magazine. 




LGBT Noise is an advocacy group.




Belongto is an LGBT youth support group.


Love is Never Wrong!

Saturday, October 3, 2015

To Fall

Today I want to address all those all those religious conservatives who so blindly condemn me. Yes you who wish to pick up that stone, reprogram me, throw me into prison, toss me into a concentration camp with others on some island, and yes you who wish to kill me.

Believe it or not many of us who are LGBT have faith. I am a person of faith. We go to churches, mosques, synagogue, and temples. We hope and pray and we most certainly try to live good lives and help others. We study the word ever so closely, because of you! We love!

Now you with that stone... allow me to take that heavy weight from your hand. Why? Because no one on this Earth is without sin. And lets be honest be both know judgement is God's realm alone.

Those of you who think you can fix me... come now. Do you really so foolishly think love is an issue to be repaired? Do you really wish to come between a mans soul and God? By all means choose. We all have free will.

Yes some of you wish me imprisoned for merely existing... I'm an inconvenience in your perfect world of doctrine. It's ok though you are in familiar company. I'm sure Roman centurions would find you great company.

You who want me and all like me locked in some distant island to purge your world of our kind... Interesting you wish so casually to eliminate other souls of God from your life. What do you fear? Can your truth stand against our faith and our love?

Finally those of you who wish me dead for my existence... Murder is a sin. Maybe you should talk to Cain and Abel. Go and read my message to those with the stone. And please learn to love, turn the cheek, and be a peacemaker.

Allow me to pose a question for you all who seem so sure of your faith. Assume you get to Heaven. You have reached divine peace, security, and love. Now realize many you love are still toiling on the Earth. Some may never join you. What do you do?

Is Heaven truly paradise knowing your friends, your family, your loves are not with you or may never be? Now think about all the other wonderful people on Earth. What about the kind lady who took time to play with you as a child, the teacher who spent so much time working with you to become better, the stranger who helped you up when you fell, the person who took time out of their life to sit and comfort you, the person who first made your heart beat fast and your mind feel ever so light...

Could you stay in Heaven while so many others suffered? Could you turn your backs on them when you had found the path to forever? Think carefully about this.

I can't answer for you but I can tell you my answer. I would fall. I would return to the Earth and do my best to help others and give all the love I can and soothe those who ache ever so much. I would give purpose to the lonely. I would love.

Yes of my own free will I would suffer this world time and time again. Why? Because Heaven is not paradise without everyone. No one should have to suffer. No one should be left behind. No one should be denied love. I would be so selfish an uncaring to not tireless give people chances to become better, to find redemption.

So do you fall or do you watch? Choose wisely for one is Heaven and the other Hell.

Love is Never Wrong!

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Music From The Rainbow

I think we all can use music we can connect with and touch. Music that is about our lives. Here is some wonderful voices form the rainbow. I hope you enjoy!

Love is Never Wrong!


Have you known the need to be free? If your religious you may know the struggle of salvation and damnation. Some refer to it as the eternal struggle. Whatever the name it is the journey all of us in the world must undertake.

This journey is good, bad, knowledge, feeling, and most everything that is. We seek to be free and battle so hard to do so. We fight for equality, freedom, and even life. We appeal to those around us and up high. We seek the end to struggle. We seek peace. We seek love.

Allow me to pose a thought to you all. What if you suddenly you realized there is no struggle. Peace is a choice. Freedom is up to you. Salvation or damnation is your own domain. Whatever your belief or lack of there are certain truths.

Some of these are that you are the power that shapes this world. It is molded by your thought, your actions, and your vision. You can choose whatever path you want. What a miraculous thing.

You are love, hate, joy, pain, desire, indifference...  You are master of your life, your destiny, your actions. To many times we get lost in our trek looking for things and places beyond us. We forget the journey is about us.Your destination is  your journey.

Now please think about that. What do you seek? Who are you hoping to see or be with? What do you want to achieve? Most importantly who and what do you love?

I can't give you those answers. They are unique to you and only you. However I can tell you if you know where you want to go maybe you should make it your journey.

If you seek peace trying accepting it in your self. If you want love, give it. If you want salvation, offer it. If you want... be it!

Liberate your life, your soul, and your love!

Love is Never Wrong!

Saturday, September 26, 2015

Filling the Heart

As I have already mentioned within you is beauty and love. Two of life's most wonderful gifts. They warm the heart and inspire it. But they do not alone make a heart full. That is our journey in life. We must discover what vivid colors, shapes, places, and people fit within.

So many times we feel so alone, we feel rejected, and we feel unloved. Some of us may feel alone in the world. But none of that is true. The world is full of beauty and love, even in the darkest places. Know they are always there but they may need nurturing.

We are rarely ever told how to fill our heart and find that which makes us whole and blessed. It's not really a secret or overly complicated. It is however up to us. We must choose to be open. We must share our self and allow others to do so as well.

So what do you do? Maybe there is a song that capture you so perfectly and lifts you higher. Share it. Maybe you have a passion for hiking and feel at peace in nature. Share it. Maybe you see another struggling. Help them. Maybe you see someone who takes your breath away. Smile at at them.

All the wonderful things that fill our hearts come from us. We choose to explore this amazing world and we choose what moves us. We choose what and who we store in our hearts.

Find the golden things in life. Find the people who shine. And fill your heart beauty and love. So what was the secret?

Live, Love, Forgive!

Love is Never Wrong!

Friday, September 25, 2015

Life is beautiful

Have you ever stopped and looked around you. Have you seen something so inspiring it instantly made you feel good? Have you been touched and felt alive? Have you been lost in a moment so rare time its self stopped as you were in different world?

Beauty, as they say, may be in the minds eye but it is also in our hearts. Be it a slow cup of coffee as birds sing of mornings arrival or sitting in a stadium watching the perfect game. Beauty is all around us.

Anything or anyone who can make you feel good, inspire you, or foster a sense beyond you has given you a precious gift. That gift is the blessings of a happy life. Even in the darkest sorrow the simplest of things can be salvation.

We are not perfect beings and should never try to be. We should strive to be good ones. We should strive for beauty. Gaze at that view. Breathe that sweet air. Laugh at that silly joke. Hold anothers hand. Smile for beauty is all around and it is most certainly in you.

If you think about it beauty is the expression of love. If you have beauty inside you then you also surely have love. And even just a sliver of love is a golden life. For it is the thing we build worlds upon.

This world has much pain, anger, and ugliness but it is not the only view. See that which is around you. Build the things of your dreams. Hope for tomorrow. Because life is beautiful.

And so are you!

Love is Never Wrong!