Being Lonely

So many of us in our community are lonely. There are many reasons for this. Most of it can be boiled down to two many issues. We are never truly accepted in society and face isolation and harassment on a regular basis. The other issue being what it means to be us.  Every LGBT person will have a different answer.

This has been a problem for so long. The answer however is a lot simpler. The hard part is undoing all those forced gender norms and expectations. If we were honest it would sound like this. "I am sorry straight society you are dysfunctional even amongst your own."

What does it mean to be a man?, a woman?, to belong, to be a family?  Ask anyone and you will get different answers. They may have similarities but no absolutes. There lies the problem. You expect us to conform to something that never conforms to you.

Men can dress up in women's clothing and full make wanting to feel pretty and still be straight. Gay men can be masculine, outgoing and jocks. Lesbians can be beautiful and dainty. Transgender can be straight but the wrong gender.

For far to long the few who want their view of what is normal have forced, bullied, humiliated, and murdered us to fit a mould. It is not about religion, morality, or society. It has always been about power. If they can make you do what they want they keep you off balance.

The truth is we are all beautiful, we are all worthy of love. Their is no definition to love. It is instead a wondrous thing that enchants when we let if free. Try it sometime. Hold your tongue. Don't lecture, support.  Judge love not likeness. Accept even if its not you or you understand.

People are... Families are... Love is...  It is that simple. The definition is in what works for you and how you shape your life. You can't be anything or anyone other than you. As I have said society is not ready for us. It really has not been ready for its self.  So just love.

Now all this being said I am not advocating for anarchy or wholesale rejection of traditions. I am saying however take that which fits you and preserve that. But before you reject what you think is not you at least try to understand what you are rejecting. If you do not then you are on the same path  as what has hurt you.

My only other advice is when you love, truly love. Don't settle. Love and you are priceless. You don't have to do anything that does not feel right or enrich you. If someone is trying to say otherwise get away from them. You can only be you and you are capable of love and value.

Even in love there may be roads of pain but know are the light in the dark. The darkness is being consumed into the definitions that are not you.

To those who live in the dark I say you are wrong and always have been. It doesn't matter if you can be at the top, have power, or fame. It doesn't matter what you think on anything other than you.  If you truly cared you would celebrate all those wonderful differences we have in life and cherish those who make your life better.

Two life long friends can raise a child together and be a family. Two women who madly love one another can be a family. A family friend who takes in an orphan can be a family. All you need is love.

What's normal? The answer is you. What's not normal? The answer is anything that hurts another or yourself. To many take it upon themselves to dictate life. Never do that.

You can advise, support, love, even toss your hands up in frustration. But always love, always accept, even if its not you. Acceptance is not approval. It is love. I may not understand or agree but I love you and I want you to be happy, even if its not my life.

Life can be lonely but if we love we can be fulfilled. Go bask in that warmth I think you will find loneliness fades and people flock to you. You can't fake it. You can't imitate it. You can only experience it.

If you can't, find help. Find someone. Life is a journey of emotions and experiences. Don't miss the biggest part of your journey.

Live, Love, Forgive.



Love is Never Wrong!