The Act of Forgiveness

As I touched on yesterday one of the most important things we must do when we have been hurt, for whatever reason, is to forgive. We strive to do this as much for us as for others. Holding on to pain and burdens only weighs us down in life and if to heavy a load it collapses upon us in a suffocating embrace.

Forgiveness is never easy. Some will tell you there is no forgiveness, as you control all emotions. I however can say I have no such mastery over all the things I feel. To be honest even the toughest can break. That makes us Human.

As Humans we must release all that pain and heartache. To do that we must forgive ourselves first. It's the step so many of us miss. We have to forgive our ignorance, innocence, lack of strength... The list is long. But it is a truth.

Even the deepest wounds must be forgiven in ourselves first. We are not perfect beings and if we make mistakes, don't spot danger, or can not fight off violence it is not our fault. As I said we are not perfect and should not attempt to hold ourselves as being such.

Almost as hard is forgiveness of others who have hurt us. The worse the pain, the more difficult to release. But we must. Pain is a horrible companion. It only devalues our lives. Trust me on this one I have had a life of it.

When you begin your search to forgive do so in love. Love yourself, seek the embrace of others who love, and finally express love by letting the hurt go. It may take time, you may need help, and you will need love. Never loose hope. Never doubt your value. And never, never forget love exists in and around you, even if you don't see it right away.

Forgiveness is a soul wrenching process. But it is also a liberation, a victory for love. There is no time table, no map, and no right or wrong. It is quite simply the triumph of love over pain and darkness.

As beings of love the final act of forgiveness is helping others. Being there for them. Being the strength to hold them up,  Be a road for them to find forgiveness. We should all be here for each other. We are all each other has.

Lift up a sullen face, caress with compassion, cry in sympathy, hug away the pain, and love. Love generously. Because, love is life.



Love is Never Wrong!

When Sex Becomes a Weapon

One of my earliest posts was to those who have been abused. It is an important and personal issue with me. I know all to well the savagery and cruelty sexual abuse can bring. The lives it destroys or cripples is horrifying.

Beginning when I was still a child I had a family member rape and molest me for years. They were some of the darkest times in my life. The pain, guilt, and confusion haunted me for far to long. The legacy of that time resonated across my life. Some things you can never forget or un-experience.

I've mentioned before sometimes you can have problems that would take many lives to resolve. As far as I have come in life I can say with surety I still have  a ways to go. But I am at a place where I have forgiven the pain inflicted upon me. Some things you can not hold onto without a cost ever so high.

One of the hardest things of this time was sorting my sexuality from the abuse. That was a task to be sure. However I am sure of who I am and who I always was. For all of you who have or are going through this know this, no one is your master except you. You are the key, the lock, and the walls you erect to defend yourself.

Love your self. Forgive the pain. Let go of the pain. It is ever so hard. Some shadows walk in the light but the truth is they are merely reflections that trick the heart into believing they are real. And you know what? What has happened is the past, not the present.

Everyone is different but the one true step to peace is letting go. Tell someone. Find a person you trust and tell them. Don't worry when those tears begin to fall and your body aches and your mind screams you are going to forever break. Beautiful things survive to remind the world of hope. And you are beautiful. You are deserving of love and peace.

In my adult life I have known the pain of a love beating me and raping me. If you read my last post that would be "M".  Using sex to get what you want or drive home a point is horrific and vile. M lashed out in a horrible way.

Dealing with this after a childhood of this was quite unbearable. I made "A" cry when he came to my aid. At that moment not even his love could ignite a spark in me. It took a very long time for me to heal.

And the good thing is I did heal. Oh I won't lie, I have my scars. However, such things slowly fade and become less noticeable.  You know they are there and why but they no longer hurt. I guess that's my message. You have to love.

You must love yourself. You must extend trust to others and allow them to show you love. You must leave the past in the past. Like the scar that gently fades you must know that is but a part of you not all the wonderful things that make you who you are.  And it certainly does not define you.

Your soul, and your love is yours. No one can hold onto those without your permission. So shine and rise above the cruelty shown to you. Release it to others who love. And please raise your head and let the sun fall upon your face. Sometimes we need a warm embrace.

Hope and love are the greatest ointments for the soul. Use regularly!



Love is Never Wrong!

Lessons of the Heart

I always talk about love but rarely romantic love beyond the greater soul. So today is my attempt to share a bit, resolve a bit, and forgive a bit.

One of the greatest gifts in life is love. We crave it so dearly and don't always receive enough of it. It's value is beyond priceless and can make a life or destroy it. But either way we take something from it, whenever it touches us.

In my time I've been touched by some. Some I have touched. Still more I chased after with the silly notion love conquers all. Love can melt a heart but the heart must be open to it and the love given must be unconditional.

Some in life we must love without return. Others we must caress in their anguish and sorrow. And sadly some we must rekindle the very spark that can set the flame of love ablaze. In these wondrous adventures we can find solace, resolve, and utter joy.

What some won't tell you though is sometimes we find pain. Sometimes we must shed tears and mourn in regret. Love is not perfect. It is a wild thing that when we are ready can be that which is indescribable.

I've loved or tried to love everyone I have ever told such. And I have failed miserably at times. But even then I still hold those in my heart. And those who did light my flame into a raging inferno you are treasures I will always remember and call upon for guidance, strength, and to brighten the dark times.

Sometimes with you all I wish I could share all the love, pain, joys, and sorrows of my life. At times it has been cruel and dark yet when it was bright it was a glorious unending day. So to the few that haunt my heart roaming down its many halls and chambers I say this...

A, thank you for your undieing devotion. You are more than I deserve. I am glad you have been there. If I had a chance with that precious heart of yours I would fight to the end of time for you. But I know it belongs to another. So I accept humbly to just be your loving friend. 

M, you were quite possibly my favorite on many levels. I fought to ignite that spark and lift you up. I'm sorry I could not be there for you in the end but life does not always give us choices. You know I have forgiven all the pain you gave me and you are still a fond memory. Wherever you are I hope you finally have peace.

T, you my dear love were pure energy and excitement. You made me happy when your time was mine. But sadly that was always the problem. I was an accessory to your life not the focus. Your quest for life and excitement colored your world to an extreme I am not quite sure you even know. I have always been there for you and always shall. And I am thankful, so have you. Find love and embrace it without question or restriction. Share that beauty inside you with someone special.

R, you were and are my most dearest regret. It took you so long to realize my value and sincerity. Then you pull the rug out from under me at the end. The flame still burns but is forever off limits. Sometimes things burn to hot and hurt.

E, what can I say. You never truly let me all the way in. In my blindness I forced my way in, only for you to blame me for the love you would not give. I have my suspicions why but I don't know for sure. What I do know is I wish you shared that bit of your soul. You would have been safe and loved.

To all I have hurt, it was never intentional. I certainly don't pretend to know it all or how to handle all things. But I can assure you all I have been here with love.

I think in our lives we must acknowledge all of our loves, even those that are utter disasters. If we don't we leave holes that we can spend eternity trying to patch aimlessly. But like the wave crashing into a sandcastle it fades away. Only solid things can support weight.

Love in your life. Enjoy it for what it is. It may not be glorious or all consuming but it is the song that makes our lives beat in time with the heart. Good or bad it is a treasure that can fuel a thousand suns. And what a wondrous glow when it does. <3



Love is Never Wrong!

What is Pride?

The other day while with an old friend I heard something utter from his lips that made me stop in heavy sigh. He didn't approve of the outlandish displays at Pride festivals and parades. Like many people he thought it was to much in his face.

Taking a breath I began to explain. For most people who go to pride it may they only time they can surround themselves with people who are like them, won't judge them, won't hurt them, and will support them.

Imagine living all your life having to conform or suppress personal expression or flair. Having to always edit ones self for the sake of security. Always someone somewhere is saying something bad about you. And in some cases if you don't act straight enough you may end up dead.

Now imagine once a year you have the chance to go to an event where  you can be you and are encouraged to. Imagine you will be praised and accepted. Imagine the freedom that entails. The joy the heart feels. To be you and love.

If you have never lived in the shadow of oppression it is difficult to relay every detail that hampers life and the the souls wonderful song. But the one sure thing it is a liberation of the Human spirit. People may go overboard or to extremes but for that moment the soul soars, peace transcends, and love fills the air.

There are no extremes in a life that gets set free so rarely. Is it in anyone's face? Yes if you choose to look. But is that bad? If you choose to look then do so. See the people, see their joy, see their freedom, and see their story.

Pride is exactly what it says. It is pride in one's self, those who struggle with you, and the love that all to often is silenced. Anyone who does not harm another and seeks love should be filled with pride.

So as I told my friend Pride is the love we get so rarely or any place else. And that is a joyous thing.



Love is Never Wrong!

The Trans Dilemma

Lately I have been sad at mounting reports of trans women being murdered. They are beaten, denied basic Human services, and treated as a disease in some cases. Be it fear, hatred, the unknown whatever reason has crashed many lives.

I know many people have a difficult time understanding the extremes, if you will, that trans people go through to become who they feel they should be. Maybe part of that is our own communities fault as well for not teaching the conflicts and struggles the T in our group has to endure and figure out.

Most of us in life struggle just figuring out who we are or who we are attracted to. A person who is trans has an additional problem of being the wrong gender. Imagine everything about you is a woman. Your thoughts, attractions, desire for clothing...but you are a man in gender.

That is a struggle I wish no one had. The constant reminder of the wrong anatomy, looking into the mirror not to see you but a sculpture of someone else built around the soul that is you.  Trying to discover you and who you belong with but again your gender is not matching who you are. If we add in societies reactions it is enough to make anyone want to run and hide.

The problem is people fear and hate what they don't know. They encounter a person and see only the unknown in the minds. I know over the years I've heard many gasp at the concept of wanting to remove anatomy and add something else. They gasp because they have no basis of comparison, so they think. They see only an outcome not a process of getting there.

The first thing we should all remember is your looking at another person. They are flesh and blood like you. They love, cry, and feel just like you. They struggled to figure who they were, just like you. They think long and hard about every step they do. They are mothers, fathers, children, and loved ones.

The journey of anyone in life is a difficult trek through the unknown. It's a personal one. The one thing we all share is love. We love ourselves, others, and life. When any of those falter we become accomplices to a horrible crime. We have hurt another soul. We have caused pain, tears, or blood to be shed.

If I may suggest a pause when you meet anyone in life. Breathe and embrace the unknown. Ask about another's journey in life. Share your own. If you don't know, please ask. It does not matter if you agree with another or like their choices but it does matter how you treat a person. It matters that you show love and compassion. It matters that give them respect.

Quite simply life is love. And the greatest love you can extend is the sure knowledge everyone is different, equal, and deserving of respect. So please love everyone you meet in life because we are all Human and connected. We are expression of our souls. It's up to you whether you fill it with love or hate.



Love is Never Wrong!

Religious Freedom

So much lately I have listened to the back and forth claim of religious freedom, right of conscious, and oppression. Public officials using their positions and voices to hurt others has become the norm.

I have never subscribed to the belief that any person may use their beliefs to hurt another. We as a people must hold each and every person to the same standard and equal treatment. If we do not we set a precedent that can build until whole sections of society are isolated, hurt, or even dead.

Somewhere along the way people have confused free speech and hate speech. You may disagree with someone or something. You may not agree with a persons life or choices. This however gives you no right to deny them their rights.

In a true representative and free society all are valued, all contribute, and all have a  voice equally. It is the foundation of truth, freedom, and respect. To remove any of that stains the hands of many with blood of the innocent.

Might I remind all who take the righteous path you are not God. Judgement is not yours. Persecution is not yours. Coming between any mans soul and God is the true abomination. Remember that when you deny any person respect, hospitality, and anything less than love.

To clerks who refuse to issue or sign marriage license': you are not performing the ceremony only filing a registered form.

To Politicians who wish to criminalize being LGBT: removing people to stack the cards more in your favor or garner favor is sign you can not win unless you devalue Humanity. Have the despots and dictators of the last century already fallen silent? How many more must hurt or die before you realize life is sacred?

To religious leaders who preach hate or even death: Be careful your path because you to shall be judged. Taking the mantle of god as your own is blasphemy. I hope your sure of yourselves.

To those who are apathetic: Be careful of your willful ignorance. Dark things done in the light of day will eventually reach you. Who will be there to help when it happens?

As a person of faith I know a lot about religious freedom. I also know the double standard many twist it to be. Everyone has the right to their beliefs. You do not have the right to deny others theirs. And in a world of many beliefs and faiths yours must be balanced equally. Doing so is the right thing in any religion. Because only in respect and dignity can divine truth shine.

Love is not a sin. Denying it is.



Love is Never Wrong!

A Voice From the Web

Sometimes when you go exploring for something you come across a piece that resonates so well. I found this and wanted to share it.

Love is Never Wrong!