Today I want to share a very personal issue with me. I want to share my struggle and journey of the heart. It has been a very rocky road and many of my choices still affect me to this day. But one thing I am sure of is it is my journey. It is no one else' unless I choose to share it with someone.
My travels through life have taken me from heart to heart. Some good others not so much. But as I mentioned in my last post two times I found a fellow heart I would spend forever with. Finding that I will never regret. I will never apologize for and I will never forsake.
Since I have talked so much of M I will share some of that story with you. From the beginning I paid a heavy price of being with M. Early on it was mainly challenges between us. But we overcame those and became stronger.
However, all along my wonderful and magical dance with him people disapproved. They intruded in my life and objected. Some gave me ultimatums. Others took a more direct approach and made me pay a direct price for being with him. Still I did walk with him. I let him embrace me look deeply into my soul and we danced a glorious waltz.
After M and I were not together some thought it appropriate I find a decent partner and they chose one for me. He was not a bad guy and maybe if I had met him in another time and place I may have dated him. I don't think there would be forever but more a friend.
So I was confronted with an ultimatum to be with him. I said no. I still say no. It is my life, my soul, and my choice. No one will force their will upon me ever again. I'd sooner choose to cease existing than bow down before such. It's funny you don't think of such stories in the western world but they are there.
When I declined, the powers that be decided to make my life a living hell for it. I said no. I still say no. My heart is my own and I hold the key to whoever I allow in. I'm not sure M ever knew just what I endured for him and I still endure, but I have no regrets. He is in my heart for all time. Hopefully I still have a torch burning somewhere in his.
You know I have gone over this so much in my mind about such actions families and cultures push upon us in life. Society will not fall apart of two people are not together. Genetic lines will continue if people choose their own path. Family alliances should be made on honor and trust not auctioning off your young. And most important I think is no culture who forces it's will upon any member to undertake a relationship, marriage, or children, that is not their choice, is utterly corrupt and doomed.
To all of you who may live in a society like this I am sorry. I am sorry this may offend you and I am sorry your will is being compromised. I am not sorry for my words, my thoughts, or who my heart chooses.
The power of me is my right to choose. It is my life. You may not like my choice, you may object to my choice, and you may not be in control of its outcome but that is fine. It was never your choice or your life.
We all have the power of me. All we have to do is exercise it. I have and still suffer for my choice. I do not regret it in the slightest. Even though M is not with me I honor him in my heart. I always shall. Who knows maybe one day I may find another but even then it will be my choice and mine alone.
Use the power of you and choose your destiny, most especially in matters of the heart. Relationships are not contracts. People are not to be bought and sold. People are not bonds of alliance. People are not property.
I can tell you what people are. They are love. Any action that limits, suppress', or infringes upon that is unjust and a blight upon the very soul of a society. Life, people, and love are all personal things. Funny we are back to free will.
The power of me is the power of you. Exercise you right to self determination. Be free and allow your soul to sing to whoever it so chooses. I walk in fire for mine but the flames of injustice to do not burn me. They are cold and bitter. The only flame that burns me is that which my heart lit when I chose forever. And I would suffer it for eternity for it is gentle, kind, and loving.
My words are the expression of my heart and it's choices. Agree or disagree but they are true. I hope and pray you learn such grace. Because with or without M in my life he has given me enough to last eternity.
The only thing I would add would be to the man who was thrust into my life. I am sorry but you do not have my heart. I wish you happy journey's and maybe one day you will find one person you can have forever with.
I have the power of me. I have no regrets.
Love is Never Wrong!